Hi Willow, Ditto to other comments, especially Samex's. It is hard to express yourself when people around don't seem to want to know - or maybe it's too hard for them to understand. A friend of mine comes across as though she doesn't listen, not responding at all, but later on comes out with a comment which shows that she DOES listen and cares, probably just can't handle or doesn't know how to respond. I think that it is important to tell people close to you how you feel and maybe they may understand more than you think. A bit of a quagmire, isn't it. Think of yourself a lot, though, and don't worry too much about what others think, they aren't in your shoes!! Take care of yourself, craftyone ... View more

Hi Vicki, Must say, watch out that hubby doesn't get too used to the shopping, mine has and as we live half and hour away from shops, we both go, and then its RACE around the supermarket - no time for reading things or much choosing - and then off home! Am really looking forward to our shifting (late January & late February settlements) closer to a larger town (Castlemaine) so that I can go and do some "wandering" down a street and just browse as much as I want to as slowly as I want to. Isn't it great, though, that your hubby has been able to take on the shopping and (I am sure) lots of other things that you have always done, and made your "journey" a little easier. I know that my partner enjoys (wouldn't admit it) looking after me if there are any "hiccups" post cancer and it is really great to be able to lean on him a little now and then without losing my independence. Glad to hear about your results, must be a huge relief, and the photo diary - what a great idea. I must say that when I went through my "trial by cancer" I was just concentrating on going through it, not looking at anything that might be of benefit mentally. Keep up the good work, lol, craftyone ... View more

Hi Karen, Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I am sure that you are very overwhelmed with all that you have had diagnosed. At least you have joined a great website to express your feelings and interact with others. Thinking of you, you are not alone, craftyone ... View more

Hi Harker, Julie and Samex, It is never fun trying to juggle all the things that you have all been juggling. Harker, find a nice noisy train bridge and scream your lungs out, if not have a good laugh at Julie's goats problems, ha, ha. I remember a saying by a former Prime Minister "Life Wasn't Meant to be Easy", when my mother was very sick, Dad would say "But it Wasn't Meant to be THIS Hard". At times I agreed with him, especially when going through combined chemo and radio, and when a so-called friend said that she couldn't visit me because I didn't know from one day to the next what time the radiotherapy was going to happen. I think that you have a very trying time coming up, Harker, and you will just HAVE to let off steam now and then. Hope you keep your particular brand of humour and that it helps you "muddle" through this trying period. lol, craftyone ... View more

Hi Vicki, You sound like you are having a real rough ride. You are absolutely (hate that word)allowed to think morbid thoughts and as long as they aren't happening 100% of the time, they are very normal. I think that living day by day and making the most of the good days is the way to go. Yes, make plans for short future and try to do all the things that you can when you can. Enjoy your family, they are usually the centre of a mothers life. If you need to express more in writing, why not join the expressive writing group, can be very theraputic. Good luck, thinking of you, and let a few tears go now and then - as long as you have happy times as well - tears can ge a really good release of emotion. craftyone ... View more

Hi Flight, I started volunteering with the Cancer Council Victoria in (approx) 2006 talking to people to help them with their diagnosis. Thoroughly enjoyed it (still do) even though at times it can be very confronting with your memories. Since then I have given a couple of talks, one to a group of people who have the same gene as I do which pre-disposes them to cancer, and another talk at a forum addressed to survivors and carers - both were very nerve-wracking but extremely powerful for me, and would do more if it comes up again. Other than that I am now inovolved in advocacy and working with one of Victoria's Integrated Cancer Services and assisting with advocacy training. I find that volunteering gives me a way of dealing with my experiences of cancer and giving them a meaning. Helping others to get through their experience a bit easier (I hope) makes it very rewarding. As long as you are at a "place" in your life and mind where you can discuss "your story", no matter how nervous or how scary you may think it is, I have found it really worthwhile. "Your story" is a very powerful message and health professionals - no matter how well they are trained by others - have not experienced going through the "cancer journey" any insights that we can give them is surely really great. I hope that you go ahead with this volunteering (as long as you think that you can mentally do so) and maybe make life a little easier for someone else. Good luck and let us know how you get on Craftyone ... View more

Hi Maddie, I have had combined treatments, although back in 2000. I know that it is different for everyone, but it seems to be a really good way of beating the nasty in some people depending on where the cancer is. I had more problems than most have, because I had already had my large bowel removed years ago. The worst effects for me, were diarrhoea and nauseousness - but your partner probably won't have the diarrhoea as bad, some actually can get constipated with certain chemos. The best bet is to ask the oncologist or oncology nurses what they expect to be the case, and just try to remember that once through the regime, it will all fade away again. I DO KNOW that it worked for me very well, and as you can see I am down the track by 10 years which is classed as a cure. Good luck, just try to make sure that your partner gets enough fluids - I finished up having half milk and half sustagen when I couldn't eat properly. Also look after yourself as well, us who get the diagnosis would be lost without the carers helping us. craftyone ... View more

Dear Harker, Sorry for not reading this earlier - very slack of me. My father was on dialysis for the last 4 years of his life and at the age of (I think or about) 70 did 12 months - 24 months dialysis at home with a little help from his wife. He only went back to having it done in hospital when there was a unit opened in a hospital nearby. I think that the biggest problem that he had was that he was very good with his fluids intake - not more than meant to be - and once he started putting on muscle again, there was a bit of juggling with how much fluids in weight compared to muscle weight - that was how they calculated the time on dialysis. I think that home dialysis has come some way downt the path since then, I even heard them talking about patients doing it overnight and slower for a better outcome. So, to get to the point, well done with your attitude, and just think of this dialysis thing as another little hurdle - I am sure that you will. Take care of your wife too, I know that this must all be very hard for her as well. Take care of yourself, craftyone ... View more

Dear Harker, I totally agree with Jules2, we really miss your wit and charm when you are quiet, we do understand why, though. Hope things are improving, thinking of you, craftyone (no, not sly one) ... View more

Hi Collie, Please don't apologise, we all like to assist where possible. It is very natural and normal to be worried after your diagnosis and it is better to be sure than sorry afterwards. This site is the place where you can write all about your feelings and we all understand them totally. I am pleased for you that you seem to be in good hands and hope that anything that "pops up" in the future will be picked up early. Please write whenever you need to, we like to know how everyone is getting on. Take care of yourself, craftyone ... View more