Hi Willow, Glad to hear that you are feeling calmer tonight, I've just realized I had intended to watch the carols tonight and I got caught up with other things and missed them. I find them calming too. I will definitely watch the xmas eve carols at the meyer music bowl in Melbourne. That is tradition!! I'm sorry to hear that you have to do the appts on your own, years ago when we were having all our specialist appts after my miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies, Greg would always come with me and be able to 'fill in the blanks' for the stuff that I didn't hear/understand. It really does help, even just for moral support. I truly hope you can get someone to go along with you to see the surgeon. Greg is much better than he was last week, he is much less confused than he was and was able to come home from hospital on Tuesday. He is certainly happier at home and is starting to come to terms with his loss of independence (eg. driving). We see the oncologist on Tuesday afternoon after Greg has a chest/abdo/pelvic ct scan in the morning, that is to check up on the cancer everywhere else. Based on Greg's 'symptoms' the last few days, I have a feeling the oesophageal tumour might be growing again. Will just have to wait and see. Keep posting how you are feeling here, as you say, it sometimes can help prevent the explosion and you know that we all 'get' what you are going through, in one way or another. You are amongst friends here, no judgements, just tell it like it is! Best wishes to you, Jill. ... View more

Hey Julie, thanks for the explanation, it made sense, no apologies needed! I find 'thingy' comes in very handy in a lot of my conversations!!! Jill. ... View more

Hi samex, I did buy one thing 'for me', but it wasn't anything particularly exciting.... just happened to see a collapsible cup cake carrier thingy so on impulse I bought it. I have lots of friends who make wonderful cupcakes with lovely decorations, maybe I will have a reason to start doing some too now! This week is fairly full again. Monday the whole family will go in with Greg for his radiation session, I asked our eldest son if he would like to see how it is done and he said yes, haven't actually asked the youngest yet. If he doesn't want to watch, I will sit with him in the waiting area. I thought it might help them to understand that it doesn't hurt Daddy when it's happening if they can see how it is done. After Greg's radiation, we will drop him off at his work office and go on to my friend who does my hair so that I can have a cut and colour and feel like a new woman for a while! My Dad will pick up Greg from the office for me. Greg is just going in to 'walk them through' a few of the things he had been working on. Tuesday we have a full-on day, will drop the boys at a friends house at 7.30am, so that I can get Greg in to Hollywood for 8.30am for a port flush. At 9am he has a chest/abdo/pelvic ct scan. After that he will have his radiation session and then we have an appt with the oncologist with the ct results at 2pm. Wednesday, a friend is taking Greg to radiation for me, and her two boys (same age as ours) will stay with us and have a play. Then another family are coming for morning tea. Thursday, Greg has last radiation session at 9am and then we see the sleep apnoea people at 10am for a follow-up appt. Somewhere along the line, I need to wrap presents, buy one gift voucher and fill in some paperwork to get to Centrelink. I think Mum has taken me 'off the list' for food preparation for xmas day, aside from taking strawberries, which I need to pick-up on Wednesday. All sounds exhausting doesn't it??!! Jill ... View more

Hi Sally, Yes, I'm on the west coast, there are a few of us west aussies on this site! Makes it a bit tricky with online conversations with the daylight saving everywhere else!!! Jill. ... View more

Hi Nicole, Just sent you a PM and then came to check here and found your posts, oh well.... Don't feel bad about 'rabbiting' on, your situation is just as important, it doesn't change anything for my situation. We all have our own issues to deal with, and they are real and important to each of us. I am so glad that you have started 'posting' comments again, I really feel the 'shared' experiences with everyone on this site can help relieve some of the frustration/isolation/crazy stuff that we all go through. I totally agree that it is a blessing he hasn't had any seizures, his oncologist has said it is less likely now, but it is always in the back of my mind.......no that's not right, it is often at the front of my mind. Poor you, being diagnosed on xmas day, I've heard of the naughty and nice list, but geez, that is really crap to be dealt on xmas day. Yes it is a shame you are not on the west coast, cos it would be great to catch up, but seeing as you're not, just keep touching base with me online, as I find it helps me get clarity and helps me to re-charge my batteries when they are running down. The support from people like you and everyone on this site makes such a difference to me. By the way, personally I think it is best to forget how to artificially inseminate a cow, doesn't sound like a 'nice' job to me at all!!! Jill xx ... View more

Hi Julie, Glad to hear the scope went well (not that I know what it is!). How long do you have to wait for the biopsy results? Jill. ... View more

Hey Julie, I am sure you are exhausted after your trip to Perth. Hope you get a good night's rest and the appointments went OK. Jill. ... View more

Hey Reindeer, What an appropriate name at this time of year!! Well said and ditto from me. Jill. ... View more

Hi Willow, I hear your pain, I have a sense of the isolation you are feeling right now. There is NEVER a good time to be dealing with cancer and the crap that it brings to our lives, but dealing with it at Christmas time is especially hard. Keep talking to us, keep putting down your feelings, exactly as they are, you don't need to sugar-coat anything with us. You don't need to 'put on the happy face' with us. Just let it all out. Expressing it will release some of the tension, if only for a short-while. Totally agree with Sailor, find someone who can go with you to the next appointment with the surgeon (do you know what that is about?), have your questions written down, in priority order, with a space to write the answer. Give the list to your support person and ask them to write down the answers for you. If you can't ask the questions, get your friend to. Sending you big hugs and hoping you find some strength and support today. Jill xx ... View more

Hi Linda, So glad to hear that you are doing well. There are obviously a lot of people who feel the same way as you about Carol being a special lady, that is really lovely. I hope that you get the answers to your questions when you see Dr Taylor in January. The questions seem to be endless, just when you think you can't think of anymore, another one will pop into your head! For your own peace of mind, it seems sensible to hold on to all the info, should it be an issue for your daughter down the track. Let's hope not. As for me, I am just trying to take it one day at a time, the last few days Greg has been doing quite well, his confusion seems to be much much less and physically he has been fine. This morning however, he has woken with a slight headache, I have given him some water for the moment and he is now sleeping. He has some medications to take but needs to eat first, so will let him sleep a bit longer and then see if I can get him to have brekky so that he can have his meds. The plan for today was that we were going to drop the boys for a playdate with friends, I would take Greg to my Dad's work and then Dad would take Greg to Greg's work xmas function in Freo and I was going to do xmas shopping. Will have to wait and see if that is how it ends up. I am accepting help whenever it is offerred and am asking for it when it isn't offerred! I am trying to catch up on sleep where I have the opportunity. It is all such a major change to what I am used to, and it is hard to accept so much help, but I know I have to, or we just won't manage. Thanks for your thoughts, I am HOLDING ON! Jill. ... View more