It's been so long since I was last in here Mrs Elton, however I do think of you often....we walk a similar path in so many ways. Like you, we are coming up to four years now and it really hasn't got easier, we adjust very slowly to the "new normal" and it's a shame that others think we have to adjust at their speed. I find it hard to be tolerant of people these days who are (in my opinion) complaining about trivial things and yes, I feel selfish because a part of me understands everyone has their own baggage to carry and that to them it is probably heavy. Another thing I try to remember, is my friends aren't deliberately trying to hurt me, they just don't understand my pain and thus many times try to make a comparison in the effort to identify in some way with me, it may be clumsy from my perspective but I am sure they don't act with malice intention. I really hope there are days of light for you and your children.... Jewel XX ... View more

Thank you for your blog. You have a wonderful way with words and have been insightful and thoughtful I everything you have written. I hope your life co tines to grow and expand into its new normal, and that your boys grow up strong and wise ... View more

im so sorry to hear you feel like this 😞 im sure this will all get easier with time.. its hard to break a habbit of going to bed with a loved one after so many years... my fiance is terminal and although we both still live at home, we almost always sleep in the same bed at night, and it is comforting to know he is there.. some nights i lay awake thinking of the horrible road we have ahead.. i cannot imagine it and it panics me.. as they say though time heals all wounds, and although you may never 'get over' what happend because i believe nobody can, i think it gets easier to live with... have you tried getting a really good book? i find that if i have a good book to read in bed it helps.. :) take care xoxo ... View more

Thank you for all your thoughtful and encouraging messages. And thank you again to everyone who contributed with ideas. Many of those were used. MC's (Midnight Cupcake) friends were fantastic and came to visit her regularly even though MC could not take part in their conversations and activities anymore. She just listened and smiled. MC's family is simply amazing. They packed so much love into the time they had left with her, spending each moment together. Just a few days ago they made a special garden under MC s supervision, using roses that share her first name. A friend said the following to me today: If this was always to be [MC's] destiny, she was definitely born into the perfect family. Without using the exact quote, her mum described her passing as beautiful, peaceful and spiritual. The sadness and loss will always be felt by everyone; but this beautiful girl will always have a special place in our hearts. With a heavy heart, Bee ... View more

WOW! Thankyou for your honesty and candour....it has helped me certainly.....ALthough my husband is still here....in broken body anyway, his spirit is challenged and weak..... I am sending you strength and positive vibes for the first anniversary......do what feels right. PA ... View more

Oh my goodness, where does the time go. Just another quick post to say I hope you and your boys are doing well. Hopefully, each day the sun just feels a little warmer and the future looks a little brighter. Yes, it is a slow, difficult process, but at least you and your boys are heading in the right direction. Bless you and your boys. May the coming days wrap you and your boys with as much love, comfort, and peace as possible. John ... View more

Hi jill I am in New South Wales and yes maybe there is a fee somewhere for my dads death certificate but I have not seen it. So maybe it happens here also. It was one item I did not have to think about. I found that after my dads death that for a while, maybe 2 weeks, no more, people did phone or send cards, or ask me at work, how I was, but after that it all stops. Do they think that the sadness stops after 2 weeks and I am ok? well I am not. I cried last night for him, just something came into my head and I cried for a few minutes and really felt the loss of him not being here anymore. It has been 9 weeks now for me, and even though I did not feel especially close to him, I do miss him. Even miss going to visit him which I use to put off till I really had to go. I use to get annoyed cos he would not come to visit me at my place and expected us to go and visit him all the time. He became a bit of a hermit after my mum died and I feel I have become a bit like that too the last few years. I work full time so that had helped I think get through some of the hard times not just with my dad but my marriage ending also. Sorry I am rambling but it it all part of healing-sometimes life just rolls from one sadness to another. The sadness will be there for a while Jill. It is better for me, the days are brighter, but for you, obviously you loved your husband very,very much and it is a new normal you will have to find without him. Oh by the way, your computer problem sent through quite a few emails to me but that is ok. Just cyberspace making sure that your words got through to someone. Life goes on Jill, cry if you want, laugh if you want, dont hold back the emotions, you need to grieve and for as long as you need. Write again if you want. I am a trainee counsellor and want to help if I can. But I will talk to you as someone who is in sadness also not with just counselling ears. Margaret ... View more

Can you send me a message also.. ... View more

Thanks for sharing. You always put so much of yourself into your posts. I wonder if you truly know how many of us you have helped. I hope I have been able to help you even a smidge as much as you have helped me. Think about you and your boys all the time and hope that things are not to hard. Take care Jill. We are all blessed to have had contact with you even if it is because of that awful C word. Yoiu are a very special lady Alana xxx ... View more

Hi Km The first couple of months after the initial diagnosis is a blur of what ifs and other questions. My husband was diagnosed with GBM last March and we lost him in December. We were told he would have anything between 7 months to 2 years. He lasted 10 months. I wouldn't say there is a balance but I'd recommend you think about what you want to do for your mum and what you need to do with your mum for you to be ok should her time be limited. We are the ones who have to pick up the pieces of what's left of our lives when they move.Leave nothing left unsaid...that helps with the grieving process. Also factor in what she wants to do. My husband worked 3 days a week right up to 4 weeks before he passed and I had to facilitate that by driving him to and from work. The drives to and from work (about an hour each way) gave us time away from the girls (we have 2 little uns) to talk about everything and nothing in particular so in facilitating his wish I filled my memory bank with many precious moments. All the best and know there are people here to listen. Sangeeta ... View more