sorry for all the posts. The site was very slow to send the message that is why there are so many of them. I could not get the message to send. ... View more

Hey Angelicyang. You sound so sad yet I can hear the love in your voice for your girlfriend. Leaving is not an option and loving someone means NOT leaving. Just be what you can be for her for as long as you can. Yes there is probably nothing you can do for her by sounds of it but I believe she knows you are there. I encourage you to find some counselling for yourself and maybe a support group, if you can, to help you through the time now. I admire your courage to stay with her as your family and friends seem to offer no help to either of you. Write again if you want. I am not a counsellor but I can feel your pain. Loving someone in good times and bad is what life is all about. ... View more

Hey Angelicyang. You sound so sad yet I can hear the love in your voice for your girlfriend. Leaving is not an option and loving someone means NOT leaving. JUst be what you can be for her for as long as you can. Yes there is probably nothing you can do for her by sounds of it but I believe she knows you are there. I encourage you to find some counselling for yourself and maybe a support group, if you can, to help you through the time now. I admire your courage to stay with her as your family and friends seem to offer no help to either of you. Write again if you want. I am not a counsellor but I can feel your pain. Loving someone in good times and bad is what life is all about. Hope for some good times. ... View more

Hey Angelicyang. You sound so sad yet I can hear the love in your voice for your girlfriend. Leaving is not an option and loving someone means NOT leaving. JUst be what you can be for her for as long as you can. Yes there is probably nothing you can do for her by sounds of it but I believe she knows you are there. I encourage you to find some counselling for yourself and maybe a support group, if you can, to help you through the time now. I admire your courage to stay with her as your family and friends seem to offer no help to either of you. Write again if you want. I am not a counsellor but I can feel your pain. Loving someone in good times and bad is what life is all about. Hope for some good times. ... View more

Hey Angelicyang. You sound so sad yet I can hear the love in your voice for your girlfriend. Leaving is not an option and loving someone means NOT leaving. JUst be what you can be for her for as long as you can. Yes there is probably nothing you can do for her by sounds of it but I believe she knows you are there. I encourage you to find some counselling for yourself and maybe a support group, if you can, to help you through the time now. I admire your courage to stay with her as your family and friends seem to offer no help to either of you. Write again if you want. I am not a counsellor but I can feel your pain. Loving someone in good times and bad is what life is all about. Hope for some good times. ... View more

Hi Chris There is no time limit to grief. It stays for a long time or you may think it goes then it will hit you again when you least expect it. Take strength in this site Chris. People are very open here about their feelings with cancer and I can tell it has helped lots of people. It is very insensitive and just plain ignorant for people to say that you should be 'over it' after such a short time. YOur dad was a great guy obviously and you love him very much. Sometimes there are no words to give enough comfort to make things better. It is one day or one hour at a time to survive and the time just drags and slows down. Margaret ... View more

Yes Victoria we are great mums and we have great children to prove it and I have 3 grandsons and 1 of them can say I love you grandma,he is 4, and he says I am his favourite. That just makes me feel so good and loved. I return the friendly pat on your back Victoria. Take care Margaret ... View more

Hi victoria. My dad never said he was proud of me either and that makes me sad but I look at it this way. He never said it to anyone even when he was well. I know he loved me but as he got sicker it was all about him. I know he was sick and I also knew he would not survive this cancer but he never talked to me about my life or what I have achieved either. He just didnt seem to have it in him to show me any praise or support when he was well or sick. My dad lost my mum 8 years ago and I believe he has just been waiting to die. He lived in a depressed state for so long and it was difficult for me to visit him cos he always was so depressed. But now I miss him. I have tried to look past his sadness and not being able to give me spiritual support-he thought money was the answer- no hugs and no kind words. I am determined that my boys, men actually, will always have my support in whatever way I can and the thing is I want to give them support and am not prepared to be a distant grandmother. There is so much I still need to sort out Iknow this and this is the 2nd post I have done today after what seems like months with nothing to say. Enjoy your family Victoria, I know your dad is sick but try and enjoy him as much as you can. At the moment it is all about him but dont forget yourself.YOu will be left so look after yourself and your children now. Margaret ... View more

Hi Dooey I am sad for you that you have lost your great mum. SHe sounds like a wonderful lady with many people obviously loving her. My dad died in May of lung cancer but not from smoking- he hadnt smoked for 50 odd years so it was not cigarettes. I have had to deal with a few 'firsts' already this year-fathers day in September, the first month anniversary of when he died-every Friday afternoon at 4.30 is still a sad time for me and now Christmas coming-well I was dreading it but I decided I would do anything not to be alone this Christmas. I am on my own with 2 grown sons and both of them asked me to spend Christmas with their families. I will see one on Christmas day and 1 on boxing day. I Cant wait!!!. What I am trying to say is, dont be alone on these days coming up. Do whatever it takes to remember your mum, yes, but dont be alone. Share the days with the people you love and they will know that it is a sad day for you and just let them look after you. The special days we use to spend with our loved one just seem so empty dont they. I saw my dad every Christmas and Easter and his birthday but now he is gone and his house that we grew up in is sold. Life has ended as I once knew it and so it has for you. Dont rush to 'be okay' it will not happen and you need to be sad for as long as you need. Write to me if you want. I am sad yes, but I can see forward now and I know that my dad did love me but life goes on. Margaret ... View more

Hey Maddie Venting is good. If you didnt you would probably explode in an unpleasant way. Try and just go with your emotions. This is the greatest shock you have received and you can never plan how you will act or be when faced with that most scariest of words-CANCER. Your friends will only see what is happening to you and your partner from the outside-they will have no idea what you are experienceing inside. You of course want life to be great and happy as we all do but unfortunately for this time being it is very sad and frustrating and you will have so many different emotions to confront. YOu have no control at the moment so dont try to be strong. Vent here is you have no where else or maybe there is one friend who can really just be there for you. You are not alone Maddie although you may definately feel that right now. This site is for you. Write when you can. Margaret ... View more