May 2013
Friends..... We all have them...... We all need them..... A friend for a reason... A friend for a season.....
The season is about to change, the leaves have turned the glorious colours of autumn and winter is only a few days away...... Winter... The cold mornings, the miserable, wet and windy grey days....darkness comes earlier.
It's natural to feel "grey".
I'm feeling grey.
In three days time it will be the third anniversary of the passing of my darling husband and the loving father of our two gorgeous boys. We miss him so much, every day. And I still remember vividly, his last three weeks.....his birthday was/is the end of April and from that date to the end of May, I find it exceptionally difficult....1000 more times than "my new normal"...........so I need my friends.
I gave some friends "notice" of this difficult period back at the beginning of the month, hoping that it would help them to realise that I would be more sensitive/ emotional than usual........... Well fat lot of good that did..... Barely a day has gone past where they haven't made a comment about how hard their life is, how tired they are, how their husband doesn't help with the children or the chores, how their husband didn't buy them a Mother's Day gift or make them breakfast.
I know that those are issues that are important in their lives........... It would just be nice if they could keep those comments to themselves instead of sharing them with me when the absence, the pain of losing a husband and father is so heightened.
Over sensitive me?? - sure. Insensitive friend/s ??
Is this a friend for a season that is ending????
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October 2012
Dear Maddie,
It sucks and it is scary, really scary, for you, for your partner and for each of your families//friends.
I wish for each of you strength and courage, sending you big hugs.
xoxo
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September 2012
Hi Beck,
the Everafter site was being upgraded, but I believe that is complete now, so you should check it out again.
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September 2012
Linda,
My heartfelt sympathy to you on the loss of your sister, Jenny.
Sending you love and strength,
Jill
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September 2012
Its been a long time since I visited Cancer Connections.
My 'journey' as a carer ended over 2 years ago when my husband passed away. I continue on my journey as a widow and lone mum.
The road has been long and lonely, extremely challenging and I don't wish it on anyone. Yet...........last week another child lost a parent, cancer claimed another victim.
My sister in law's sister passed away after a 6 year battle with cancer. I didn't know her closely, we had met several times at several family occasions and we always spoke. I went to her wedding.
She came to my husband's funeral. On Wednesday I will go to hers.
Knowing that another family has lost a parent, a husband lost his wife, a son lost his mother..............I'm reliving the loss of my husband and the father of our beloved boys.
Cancer sux.
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September 2012
Hi Beck2930,
I too am a widow with 2 young children, thanks to this insidious disease.
There is a support group for widows with young children, it is based in Sydney and I believe they do social outings. I live in Perth, so I am only accessing it online.
www.everafterwidowed.com
I am sorry to hear of your loss, my husband passed in May 2010 after a primary of oesophageal cancer and a secondary tumour on the brain.
My children were 6 & 8 when their Dad died. They have been amazingly resilient and have certainly been the reason that I have got out of bed on many a day over the last 2 years.
Kind regards,
Jill
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March 2012
Hi Gypsy,
I'm sorry to hear that life on the road isn't going as well as hoped/planned.
Reading your post has brought back memories for me, as my husband had terrible mood swings and angry outbursts which were very out of character for him.....sure he had his moments when he would get upset/angry before cancer invaded our lives........and he had his moments whilst going through treatment etc.
My husband had the same cancer as your husband, cancer of the oesophagus (still not sure how you spell that correctly), I have sent you a private message.
Kind regards,
Mrs Elton
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March 2012
Wombat4,
my theory is 'do whatever you need to do for you'.........
unless someone has walked in your shoes they cannot possibly know what it feels like..and even those of us who have cared for and lost the love of our lives..it will be different in some way for each of us because our relationships were unique.
Sending you strength and courage,
Mrs Elton
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March 2012
Hi Sangeeta,
I am sure that you are right saying that Greg is probably laughing about the number of cushions on the bed now........and I know that he wouldn't have a problem with me getting a new bed.
I too continue to sleep on 'my' side of the bed and I have to have a pillow to cuddle during the night.
Love to you and your girls.
Jill x
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March 2012
Hi Sangeeta,
I am sure that you are right saying that Greg is probably laughing about the number of cushions on the bed now........and I know that he wouldn't have a problem with me getting a new bed.
I too continue to sleep on 'my' side of the bed and I have to have a pillow to cuddle during the night.
Love to you and your girls.
Jill x
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