Hello there, I am New to this forum, but not New to Cancer and other life threatening illnesses. 10 yrs ago I received a lung transplant because of cystic fibrosis. 4 yrs ago I developed a solid tumour in my lungs which was cut out and did not return. 7 weeks ago tough my leg started to hurt. 2 weeks ago a 5x5 cm lump was discovered next to the muscle of my right thigh. Doctors diagnosed soft tissue sarcoma. Staging was done yesterday, its result appeared online today at my personal account of the platform of the CT centre. It says there is a 0,9 mm lump in my left lung,underneath the pleura. Since that is close to the solid tumour I had 4 yrs ago I think it is either a rezidiv of that or that the soft tissue sarcoma has spread into my lungs. But whatever it is, I just cannot take all this crap that transplant brings with, anymore. I have seen so much suffering throughout my transplant journey. And due to the immunsupressants I must take, my chances to survive are low anyway. I at least want to leave on my own terms. Thank god in Austria assisted death has become legal last year. The only obstacle is that from the moment you declare your wish you have to wait 3 more Months before you receive the medication that lets you Fall asleep. I have no idea how to spend the next three months. I really hope not to offend anyone with my next sentence, but : This is way to long!I! I cannot bear 3 months of fear, Anger and sadness. I have been Living this way since getting the diagnosis, which was 2 weeks ago - and ever since for me life has become a nightmare. How on earth do you manage to live when there is no perspective on the horizon and do not go crazy???? Again, sorry for being so negative , but I cannot help myself right now.
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