Twelve months ago, my husband had a PSA test and his levels had increased by 6x in a year. Subsequent scans and tests showed a highly aggressive cancer with an extensive spread from the prostate through his bones in the hips, pelvis and spine. There were no symptoms so we were in shock. He had a course of intense radiation, placed on hormone tablets and a three monthly hormone injection. He had bad side effects and it took several months to find the right dose but he did and things settled down. Fatigue was the big thing. I was coping quite well, looking after myself so I could look after him if need be and he was still exercising, mowing lawns and doing his jobs. Then, in July, he had another PET scan which showed that the cancer was still active and there were new spots on his bones. That really threw us as we had such faith in the tablets and the doctor. He started chemotherapy and has been having an infusion every three weeks since (last one after Christmas). My wheels fell off!! Since then, (August), I am a mess. Anxious, uptight, tired, my diet and exercise are haphazard, and I want to cry most of the time. It is just not me! The doctor is confidant the chemo will be successful but I am fearful and scared. Each day I get up and think “today I will meditate/walk/relax my mind” but it isn’t working. How can I step back from this?  ... View more