Tomorrow I go into surgery with a gynae-oncologist for a radical hysterectomy. He told me that in his extensive experience there what he sees and reads is a 95% chance of a rare form of ovarian cancer but the biopsy will confirm. I think he's pretty much telling me I have cancer but I suppose I can't really say I have cancer until tomorrow. Or can I? It's very hard being in this space where I think I have it but can't really say it aloud. And some friends are holding onto the 5% bit. I'm getting scared that I might not make it out of surgery and have been organising for this possibility.
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