Hi everyone, Thanks so much for replying! Just by writing you've made me feel pretty good. I love so much your stories that say I was told a month and I'm still here years later. I was diagnosed in June, I have cancer of unknown primary that has metastasised to my lymph glands, liver and bones I think the bones, the drs are pretty non committal about the bones. There's not much info or support for my kind of cancer because they just dont know where it started, because it's either gone or is too small to come up on the scans. The oncologist has told me that it's incurable but I'm having chemo she says to make me live a bit longer. I haven't been given any prognosis in amount of time but I have been given the impression that it's less than 12 months. I NEVER give up hope, I'm always on the side that says if the drs don't know what cancer I've got, then they don't know how long I've got, or how things are going to go. The worse my pain gets though, the more I get the feeling that its not going so well and my last scan wasn't good. However, I'm facing issues that I thought I'd face in my old age, things like tying up loose ends, not leaving things unsaid, writing my will, worrying if the God I pray to is listening, or even there. I get jealous and resentful of my friends (although so grateful of them)for having beers on the weekend and bitching about work like I use to. This is what I feel like I need to know someone else especially my age, is going through. @maddie86, I'm so glad your partner is getting better! I hope that's what happens to me!! @Jules2, how did you cope, who could you talk to that would have shared your experience? Was there a point when you realised you were outliving your sentence? How did you stop the morbid thoughts popping into your head (if you had any) if you thought it was only a month? @harker, thanks, I do write, I love it and it does help. I hope the cancer I've got is managable too. @Vicki Anne, thanks, you're right, at no age are you ready to deal with dying. But I've had my future ripped away from me, I wanted to do so many things. Have children, start a business, go more places overseas, finish my masters. Same as me, they cant tell me anything about what the cancer I've got is going to do and when they do, they're wrong. 'Like the song says, "some days are diamonds , some days are stone"' I like that a lot, what song is it from? I'm often philosophical about it like you, I really appreciate the moments I've got. But it still sucks, and there's so many emotional things on the journey. Yeah I'm the same as you, the cancer has spread so that's basically why they can't cure it. Thanks again to you all I'm so happy that you responded made my day :) ... View more

Your right about how good it feels to be alive, I'm only just learning this myself, rather than worry about filling my life with busy "important things" I'm gradually getting to know what it's like to be quiet. It's nice to just hear the wind or rain or birds or radio or silence 🙂 and just be alive. ... View more