Dear Jo It's sad that you have to face this at such a young age, but you've come to the right place for oodles of support and understanding. I occasionally visit a blog called 'Caroline's Breast Cancer Blog'; it's inspirational, and at times funny - have a look if you like: http://carolinemfr.blogspot.com/ All the best for your journey Richard ... View more

Thanks KJ I did enquire once with the Vic Cancer Council family cancer research group by email. I got a call back pretty quickly, and after some discussion, I'm reconciled that my family is pretty much a case of bad luck & coincidence. We may have all experienced the Big C, but the high prevalence cancers such as bowel, breast, prostate - aren't overly represented. Challenging, though. Dad's doing OK - he just keeps keeping on. Thanks for your thoughts. cheers Richard ... View more

Hi Deb I am humbled by your courage and eloquence. So much of what you have written resonates with my feelings and thoughts about cancer. With the incidence of cancer as prolific as it is in my family, my time will come eventually: I hope I have your fortitude when the time comes. All the best for your remaining time Richard ... View more

Congrats Katie! I hope the real world is kind to you. All the best Richard ... View more

Hi Katie Sounds like a complete bummer, although I believe that employers can't discriminate on the basis of a disability (which sounds like recovery from your tumour has left you with.) When I was a case manager in a mental health service this mob helped my clients find work all the time: https://www.jobfutures.com.au/ They are really good at working one to one with people to match them to employment that suits where they are at, at the time. Even if you aren't on a Centrelink payment, I'd contact them to see if they are in a position to help you. All the best Richard ... View more

Hi Maddie It is a tough journey being young these days, let alone supporting someone you love who has a serious illness. I agree that if you are starting to feel isolated, and you feel sad most days, head straight to your GP. Under Medicare, every single one of us is entitled to subsidized counselling from a trained professional - you just need to see your GP, and explain that you need someone (as well as your friends here) to talk to, who can help you with your sad feelings. Keep in touch and we will listen to you and support you. All the best Richard ... View more

Hi Loulou Sounds like you are having a really rough time. Time-out for both of you sounds like a good short-term solution. I've just come back to Melbourne from a couple of weeks in Adelaide looking after my 94 year old Dad (who has an SCC or 2 on the base of his tongue). Mum passed away a while ago. I spent most of my spare time supporting and listening to my elder siblings - I'm 51, by the way, so even older 'children' have trouble coping. I wonder if your daughter knows in detail what is going on for you; the certainties and the unknowns as well. It might help her to hear what you know about your illness, and what you may not know, but suspect, is going to happen. Maybe a tack to try with her might be to ask if her if there is anything in particular bugging her, because you've noticed her behaviour has changed, and you are a bit worried. You could detail all the things about her behaviour that are upsetting to you, and ask her if there might be a reason for it. Whether she offers an explanation or not, it then gives you room to let her know in frank detail what is going on for you - offer her a blow-by-blow account of what happened when - even though she might 'know', she might not have heard it, because she continues to be upset. Maybe let her know how you feel about what is happening to you, and how you feel about a future for your children without you. It may give her an opportunity to vent her feelings, and I reckon it wouldn't be surprising if she was angry, and scared, and feeling lost, maybe. But if only she could let you know her thoughts and it would be a weight off her and your shoulders. She then may be in a better space to be positively supportive to you. I like Sailor's suggestions as well; Cancer Helpline might be the go. Go for the experts. All the best Loulou Richard ... View more

Hi Silly Unfortunately (because it can compound what the person with cancer is going through), families & friends can also go through the stages of grief, which can at times seem so selfish. And I think the potentially worst stage families can experience is anger & bargaining. It can be so painful. I need to remind myself that my thoughts and feelings are so unimportant - it's what my Dad (in my case) is experiencing that's important, and I need to support him and listen to him, no matter what. All the best Richard ... View more

Hi Sailor Re: " Alana has a nice voice " etc I had a phone conversation with 'Rosie' earlier today who is going to visit my Dad & siblings and discuss palliative care with him next week. I'll be back in Melbourne by then, so I'll miss out on the first-hand discussion. I'd have to say Rosie had a really nice voice as well, and on that fact alone I'm pretty confident my Dad (& siblings) will be in very good hands. It makes such a difference to hear warmth and interest over the phone. In my day job back in Melbourne I work in a young people's mental health service that has a clinical and research program; and when young people are being recruited for participation in a clinical research trial a warm and conciliatory voice in the Research Assistant is so important. Good luck with what's ahead. Richard ... View more