September 2011
I'm so sorry that you never got to see your father-in-law that last time that you had hoped.
It is heartbreaking when you are pushed away and so sad that it was all so quick for you all.
Thankyou for sharing your experience with me.
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September 2011
Thankyou so much Jules, your comment of feeling hopeless struck such a chord with me - it is exactly how I feel.
It is so hard to back off when all you want to do is SOMETHING! And the irony is, there is nothing real that I can do.
Dad has another 3 weeks or so til radiotherapy - fingers crossed it assists in making his tumour smaller and in abating some of his symptoms.
Thanks again Jules
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September 2011
Thanks for sharing your experience. I can only imagine the sense of loss of independence, 5 weeks ago my Dad was vital, energetic, constantly doing "stuff" - your right it must be hard to be the way he is now.
Thanks 🙂
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September 2011
My Dad has had a horrible month, he had a stroke, then found out he is diabetic, now he has learnt that he has locally advanced bowel cancer.
He is still in rehab at hospital and goes to the toilet hourly, and is losing a lot of blood.
He's been told that the cancer cannot be operated on but radio therapy and some chemo may assist to reduce it to an operable size.
After his stroke Dad was determined to get better and was positive and hopeful, since his colonoscopy he is down, very down. He seems annoyed when we visit him in rehab and keeps telling us to go away. He has even complained to the nursing staff that we (his family) are stressing him out. We have dedicated a lot of our time and energy to him in the last 5 weeks but he just doesn't want a bar of us anymore, he is angry at us and speaks meanly to us, even the Grandkids can't put a smile on his face anymore.
I have spoken with the rehab staff about his mental state and they have said we should give him some space.
I think he may need to talk to someone, but language is an issue for him as well, because English is not his first tongue and I don't think he would get benefit from an English speaking cousellor.
It is so hard to not visit or see him (to give him space), is this what he really wants? Has anyone else had a loved one react like this and how do you handle this?
We are normally a very close knit clan, I feel so hopeless.
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