Oh Rubes, What an inspiration you are! My prayers and positive thoughts are with you. May your pain ease and your healing increase. Warm hugs of comfort and strength to you, your family, friends and support team, Pamela 🙂 ... View more

Hi Glenys I am sorry you are having such a difficult time coming to terms with the loss of your breast. Have you had any beneficial grief and loss counselling? Everyone is different. Sandra may have problems for 12 years, but that does not mean you will also. Two years ago I found lumps in my right breast. I organised appointments to see my GP and had a mammogram and CT scan. Even before the first appointment I had decided that if it was cancer, I would have a double mastectomy - no mucking around. If it was in one I did not want to give it the chance to spread to the other. I felt that there was more to me than a shapely chest and was not interested in a reconstruction. It turned out to be my own aging, lumpy tissue. During the next 12 months I attended two all-day Cancer Council seminars in the country town where I lived at that time, to learn what I could in view of my scare and in case it ever actually happened. I was also trying to get a biopsy on a changing, growing mouth ulcer. It took almost ten months before my concerns were answered with a biopsy diagnosed as a very aggressive squamous cell carcinoma which had spread to the lymph nodes in my neck. I was given various options for treatment and took the most radical which left me with facial disfigurement, and extensive painful, restrictive areas of face, head, neck, shoulder, arm wrist and leg due to surgery, grafts and 30 sessions of radiotherapy. My mouth does not close completely, I have to drink with a straw, often dribble, need to cover my mouth when eating in company and wake often at night with a painful dry mouth with lips, tongue and cheeks stuck together. It was hard, still is, and to a great degree always will be. However, my bottom line is - hey, I am still alive! I still have family and friends whom I love and who love me. I still have wonderful, enjoyable relationships with these people who are so important to me. I also enjoy connections with neighbours and at times strangers in the street. The sun still shines, the flowers still grow, rainbows come after rain and I am living with such a sense of thankfulness, I feel that I glow. My treatment was not perfect - in fact some things were done quite wrongly. My maxillofacial team have decided not to do some things the same way again. They have learnt from their mistakes with me, and their learning will help others in the future, so the problems I am dealing with are not in vain. We all have choices in our lives - we can choose to be negative or positive - and we will live with those choices - black clouds or sunshine. You have suffered loss, but do you really mean to compare the loss of your breast to throwing a baby in a river, or are these words spoken without thought of the continuing impact those words have on your life. If you do think of your breast as having a life of its own prior to its removal, you could think of it as a hero, having sacrificed its life so you could live. What I am trying to say is that you don't have to stay in the difficult emotional place you are now. We can all grow and change our lives for the better. Good blessings and much strength to you, Pamela 🙂 ... View more

Hi Rubes I love to see your positive attitude coming through in your writing. It is important to enjoy and make the most of every moment, whether sick or well. Any of us could 'go under a bus' tomorrow, so we do have the benefit of understanding that importance more so than most. "God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." Good blessings and warm hugs, Pamela 🙂 ... View more

Hi Tiki You have awful memories in your mind that are in the forefront, which is quite understandable considering what you have been through. However, you were with your grandfather at a time when he needed your presence - you were there for him and he would have known that despite the anguish and trauma each of you were going through at that time. Not everyone has the strength of mind or character or understanding to be there in such a situation, nor to talk about it afterwards. Some who do actually comment may well suffer from 'foot-in-mouth' disease, no matter how well-intentioned. Each of us can only do so much; some can do absolutely nothing. And really, we can't expect people to give where they have no capacity to do so. We need to look for help from appropriate sources. It is very sad when your own family and friends are not appropriate sources for you. But if you do keep looking for help from them, you will only be frustrated further, hoping for something that it is not forthcoming. Your thoughts and memories of your grandfather's last two weeks are strong in your mind and may take a long time to fade. I suggest you start being active in replacing those pictures in your head with positive ones. Can you make an album of his life with photos and stories and/or a photo collage you can look at when you need to alter your focus? Ask your family for all the positive input they can give you for this project. It will help you immensely I am sure, and may (or may not) allow discussion that so far, has not been able to take place. Sending warm hugs of comfort and strength, Pamela ... View more

Hey Pimbok Clever! It worked ok - now you can ask others with confidence! ... View more

Hi Jacqui I am so sorry to hear of your Mum's cancer. It seems a previous healthy lifestyle does not necessarily help keep it away (same with me). Your Mum is blessed to have a loving and supportive family, which many on this site don't have. Sending kind thoughts of comfort and strength to you all, Pamela ... View more

Hi Pimbok Although your results show you still have a problem, it is a positive result under the circumstance. However, I agree with you that you would want it out. If your doctor does not do so, I suggest you get a second opinion. Most of us know our bodies well, and gut feelings are for a purpose. Get all the information you can from more than one source to enable you to make an informed decision. ... View more

Hi Pimbok When you have opened someone's comment page on the left side it shows: I'm online/offline. Send me an email. Send me a private message. Add me as a Friend. Just click on the last one. Try me for practice if you like. You can always delete me afterwards if you want - no offence taken. Just good practice ;-) ... View more

Hi Rubes Life is so tough at times, but so are we! Sending you warm hugs of comfort and strength, Pamela ... View more

Hi Silly When your doctor orders the scan, ask him to include on that paper a request for the radiologist to send a copy of the report to yourself (and maybe your GP if you want) as well as to himself. There is a box marked 'Copies to..." and they simply write 'Patient". They will then all be posted out on the same day, giving you time to prepare before your appointment. On some occasions, I have known my results before my doctors because I read them immediately, but the doctors only tend to look at them after I enter their rooms. ... View more