Hi cmclc, So sorry for your loss, it is very early days yet and the grieving process takes a long time, especially when you lose someone you love so much. My Mum lost the love of her life, my Father nearly 43yrs ago now, my Dad was just 50yrs old and they were coming up to their silver wedding anniversary. It devastated my Mum, but somehow she took it one day at a time and the years passed. I know though, the love they shared, lives on in my Mum's heart and I know she longs to be reunited with Dad, which I am sure will happen when it is time. Be gentle with yourself, let the tears flow, but remember the promise you made to your husband. I like to think my Dad is there somewhere watching over my family and hope this poem brings some comfort: Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there; I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sun on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die. Author: Mary Elizabeth Frye - 1932 Take care and allow yourself to grieve, without expectations to be strong or brave, but simply get through each day and one morning you will hear the birdsong again and see beauty in flowers and sunsets. Sam ... View more