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since June 2013
November 2016
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My husband has just been told his time is limited

by in Coping with a loved one's cancer
June 2013
June 2013
Yesterday was his 57th birthday and his Oncologist told us that he has between six and 12 months. He needs to start chemo on Monday. We currently are not talking. We live on a 50 acre farm 55 minutes from the hospital. I want to sell and buy a house closer, he is refusing. He refuses to acknowledge my concern that we are so isolated here, I am on my own to deal with whatever happens, both medically and farm wise. I feel unable to cope with this. He seems to think I want us to move because I will be happier after! I'm anti chemo, but have said nothing altho he is aware of my feelings and resents me for having an opinion. I have remained silent, given we went thru all of this last time round. However, I have already suffered his wrath even tho I have said nothing. He wants us to be happy together for whatever time is left. Pretty hard when the marriage was crap to begin with. I have limited support, and no one to talk to. I feel dreadfully at a loss to know what to do. Do I sell up now and move closer to the hospital or do I stay where he wants? What about me afterwards? I feel so guilty for even thinking about it, but it will be a mammoth effort to sell this place up by myself. I don't think I even know how to go about selling tractors, stock etc. I think it best to do it now, while we have time to do it together. Living in a house will give him time to just relax and enjoy whatever time is left. We have no money to pay anyone to help, the place will rundown in no time. The workload on me now is huge, now we will be adding hours driving to and from treatment. Its winter, how will I fit all the work in as well as treatment? We don't have the money to buy first, but this place will take time to sell, time I'm not sure we have. We have no income now he is not working off farm, how will we even pay for the treatment? How do I sit back and just watch him fade away in front of me? He is now down to 62 kilos and unable to keep food down. He seems to be taking this just fine, except that he keeps telling me I stress him out. I don't do or say anything yet still........ He wants us to be happy, I'm not sure I can pretend to do that given all our past history. I want to get in my car and drive away and never come back......... I won't,...........but I truly want to. ... View more
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