Tim, although your reply was for Glenys, i found it very helpful and full of good advice from your own Journey. I'm feeling at that empty place - where you kind of feel like a robotic Zombie, did you go through that? I think the only emotions i seem to feel are rage and ? Not sure. At the moment, exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed by our long Journey are the main feelings. Have been trying to find a support Group for carers, families of cancer patients, but they seem to be scarce as hens teeth. Thanks for your posting. Elizabeth ... View more

Oh Emily, meant to say thank you - i think anxiety is what might be the problem. Did you have panic attacks, and were you afraid being around people? This is relatively new for me, and it is uncomfortable. I remembered too a couple of other things that have added to the angst of the journey. My husbands very first chemo session 6 years ago killed him- anaphylactic shock. They brought him back to life. After first surgery, he was sent home with pneumonia, and we nearly lost him then. He was rushed back to hospital where a nurse worked all night keeping him alive. He was sent home with stitches still in, and they infected. Just one darn thing after another. Lol. A holiday would be nice! Take care, thank you for listening, allowing me the safety to share. You'r very kind. Xx ... View more

Mmmm, i think you gear up during treatment, stay strong, but afterward just kind of collapse from theconcern, worry, doing too much and wondering about the future. We were also trying to get myson through school, and 4 weeks after myhusband finished radiation therapy, my son's lung collapsed and he was rushed to hospital ina bad way. 5 months later - Year 11 it collapsed again and he was operated on. It was about time of black saturday bushfires. The damage to the brain of radiation leaves your loved one changed and different. That is also difficult to adjust to. You have to get to know the same person who is not really the same anymore. I hope things keep goung ok for you, and please, please look aftet self. Keep those who understand, don't judge, close to you, get enough rest, and try not to overtax self. I have not done those things, ihave not followed my own suggestions. Ihave paid a high price. Now i am an elderly lost child! LOL. It's like I have forgotten how to be me, how to live. Crazy!i am embarrassed. Take care dear girl. Xxxx , ... View more

Hi Emily. I did reply to you before, but think i replied in wrong place. ... View more

Hi Glenys. I think maybe how we view cancer, our specific cancer and it's scars is such a personal,individual thing. My sister said her double mastectomy was one of the most freeing things she's ever done. She was thrilled about it, but not the cancer itself. Some find it seems to be a symbol for lost feminiinity. Everything is proportionate to the way we view it. Personally, my scar from pubic bone to breast bone is not even something i think about. It's just there. We each find our own comfortt level i guess in our own way. Perhaps you will also find your comfort zone with time and understanding. Don't be hard on yourself, give yourself time and support. Elizabeth. ... View more

Hi Emily. Thank you so much for replying. Yep it has been a long journey and i guess overwhelming really. Emotionally i'm feeling a bit like an immature 12 year old and this frightens me. I am accustomed to being filled with energy, comptent, innovative and reliable, but it feels like it's been ebbing away now for quite some time. Losing my sister was a huge kick. Have been living with this for so long it's as though i can't feel, grieve anymore. I am fearful i have become a vegetable, unable to show compassion, and just a robotic being. Cancer can be such a very lonely journey. Thanks Emily, i hope you are ok, and your Journey is not proving too daunting for you. I have never been on a blog thingo before, so i am not sure about what i'm doing. Lol. Need some assistance and patience from other members! Thank you for your kindness. Xx ... View more