Hello Inga, you reminded me of something a beautiful Social Worker once did for our Group.  She initiated that each of us, no matter what our news, try to insert just one thing that was "Good" that happened over the 3 weeks since last meeting...Boy, some of our members dug DEEP to give her that 'something Good', it ended up being one of the highlights of the meetings...and indeed, the process was something really good for us all...funny thing is, we let it slip over the years....and it began again just this morning...Now I find your lovely post...Good for you...and now, my something good is....finding your post.  THANKS.  ps I'll do better next time..lolo Jean ... View more

Hello Clo and Sharon,  I've been such a dummy, trying to get onto this forum, for ages.  Glad I made it today. I also cared for my husband, when he was diagnosed, out of the blue, with lung cancer.  That was  11 years ago now.  And honestly?  Its a gut blow, and as you both have found out, one that feels like its cutting you to pieces.. But, please let me tell you, that doing what you are doing, and loving your man so much, and keeping on caring when it hurts, is something that is an expression of real love that nothing could ever beat! Boy I hope neither of you think I'm trying to gloss over your share of the pain....I've been there, so I wouldnt do that.  and yep, for a while, I honestly felt some days that I shouldnt be alive, cause I couldnt take his cancer away from him. I ended up getting into a support Group that has other carers and people who knew how guilt grows and how your own self confidence shrinks...they were special people, all of them had been where I was.  and now?  now, I'm still a part of that special group, and though I'm probably not helping you two much right now...I know that the only people who really DO understand are people who are going through or have been in the same place as you are right now. Our group is mixed, all ages, female, male, and cancer patients, survivors and carers....I hope you get a chance to find somewhere postive and supportive for yourselves.  Just an hour or so, every month may prove to boost you personally.  Hey and about guilt, it is SO wrong....it stinks...and Sharon, you are so right...almost impossible to get rid of...almost, because my friends just used to threaten to bash me, whenever I fell into it....lol I do wish you well Clo and hope you arent cranky with me....for butting in like this. Jeanie ... View more