I'm so sorry to hear of your sister's passing, Lell, and yes, she's at peace. Now it's time for you all to grieve. Thank you for contacting me. I'm happy I could support and encourage you on your journey with your beautiful sister. Take care of yourself, Lell. I'm here if you want to talk. I receive an email to let me know that you've sent a message. ... View more

I'm not sure where in Australia you're from. Our Mum was in Braeside Hospital at Fairfield from early December until towards the end of December. Mum was then transferred to a palliative care unit, The Lavender Suite, in a HammondCare nursing home at Hammondville. Mum was there for about 6 weeks before passing away. Your sis is going to be angry, try not to take it personally. It's a phase they go through. As I said, support her as much as possible, and more importantly, support her daughters. It is hard and full on, keeping busy helped me through. I would catch the train and bus to and from which was a 1 1/2-2 hours trip either way. I took my kindle along and did a lot of reading to wind down. While Mum slept, I would go to the cafe across the road and enjoy some lunch or a hot chocolate. I never left to go home if Mum was sleeping. I always made sure I told her I was going home while she was awake. Mum didn't like being left alone(which is understandable), I hated leaving her when it was time to go. If I could have stayed I would have, but I have a family and had to get home to do the things that us Mum's do. I had the flu 2 weeks before Mum passed away. When I was able to get back in to see her there were no conversations between us anymore, as Mum was under sedation from the pain meds most of the time. So talk to your sister as much as possible, reminisce about all the good times you had as children, teens, as young women and being Mums. Try not think of the negatives, think of the positives. I had a good talk to the senior RN for an hour as it was pretty quiet, at the nursing home who said that "your thinking the way you do" will get me through. Play her favourite music, find things for her to do, games she may like to play....brighten up her room with flowers, balloons etc etc...have photos of her daughters on display. I hope some of this helps. Try and keep the negativity at bay. I'm still winding down from all the busy-ness from the daily outings of going to see Mum. Sometimes it seems to be too quiet. I miss going to see Mum, seeing the specialist team of the Lavender Suite, the cafe, etc, etc...all of a sudden it's not there anymore. So enjoy the time with your sister while she is still here. ... View more

hi Lell, Our Mum passed away mid February. It was a blessing for her, as they do suffer very much. Mum never complained about her condition. It doesn't take away the pain of losing a treasured one, I miss Mum and still think about her every day, I laugh and cry at treasured happy memories. All you can do is be there to support her and her daughters. Spend time talking to her, even though she may be "sleeping" as they hear everything that is being said. We would make visits happy occasions rather than dwell on the negative. I always gave Mum her privacy when she had "accidents" and let the nurses do their job. I'd go into the lounge area. My heart goes out to you, I feel your pain. Just be there and be strong for now. It is difficult, but is worth it.I keep a note book and write down my thoughts whenever I have a tough day, just an idea for you and even her 3 daughters. Just be as supportive as you can. Yes, life is unfair, don't dwell on it. ... View more