I was diagnosed on the 19th of October with Hodgkin’s Disease (stage 2A) and started chemo last Monday. I’ve been very positive about the diagnosis, especially around my family. I know I’m supremely fortunate to have such a positive prognosis but most of them are extremely freaked out because my best mate actually had the same cancer several years ago and passed away from it. I am truly optimistic about my likelihood of recovery and I’ve been doing my best to keep a smile on my face, but my first chemo hit me a lot harder than I was expecting.
At first I just felt shaky and a bit nauseous but six days later I’ve got mouth ulcers, no appetite, and I’m ACHING all over. So badly. Everything hurts. All I want to do is to curl up and sleep (which I have been doing a lot of) but even a twenty minute trip to the shop completely wiped me.
I’ve been taking care of myself, eating even though I’m not hungry, drinking a lot, sleeping when I need to, exercising lightly with my dog, but I’m just so sore and feel utterly miserable. I don’t really have anyone I can complain to about this because they really haven’t dealt wonderfully with the diagnosis and the few who have have so much going on in their life I don’t want to just be complaining that I feel like I have a nasty flu.
I also know the side-effects will likely get worse (unless my onc can fix me up, god willing) but I guess I just wasn’t as prepared as I expected. I thought the first chemo at least would ease me into it, I suppose. I can’t decide if I was naive or optimistic in hoping that.
I hope you don’t mind me ranting. I just feel awful and am really nervous now about how much worse subsequent chemos will be if this is the first one. I just feel like such a sook when I know how much worse others have it and since this is only my first chemo but I just can't shake feeling so bloody awful.
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.