How very sad for you.   I don't know how doctors can continue to give time frames to people. The truth is this:   We are all going to die.   Nobody knows when.   I met a friend recently that spent the last three months waiting to die, constantly anxious and frantic about what was going to happen. She had also been given a terminal diagnosis. I asked her what else she would have done if she hadn't had a terminal diagnosis. Her answer was to spend time being happy with her daughter, gardening, laughing with friends..... I pointed out that her doctor had stolen her hope! She had wasted three months of precious days dying, when she could have been living. We laughed about it. She promised to start cherishing each precious day, focusing on what she could do and the people that she loved. She is much happier.    Another friend was given a terminal diagnosis last year. Then her doctor asked her if she'd like to participate in a clinical trial. Turns out she has the right biology for a new drug and now her metastatic tumours are shrinking. She has longer than she thought she did.  We are all going to die. Nobody can accurately predict when.  We should make the most of every single day.     I was also diagnosed with an aggressive cancer with a high rate of recurrence. Maybe it will be what kills me. Maybe not. But I am not dying today! And that gives me one whole day of life to live.    When times are bleak I like to remember the quote from the movie 'Shawshank Redemption': Get busy living or get busy dying! It reminds me to choose living.  Perhaps these thoughts will help you too. I hope so. Life is so precious. Meg X ... View more

Hi Kate,   I saw a specialist oncology masseuse throughout my treatment. She had no problem with touching my treatment site and her gentle touch on my wounds was both physically and emotionally healing. She wore gloves during chemotherapy and radiation and I believe she was a big part of my recovery.   She qualified with this organisation: oncologymassagetraining.com.au Their site has a post code search for local therapists. Thanks for the link to the Cancer Council PDF on massage. I provided it to the spa where I was refused service.  Kind regards Meg ... View more

Dear Pamela, How horrible for you! And what an ignorant person to believe that cancer is contagious and spread by massage!   I had a similar experience at a spa in Shoal Bay. I entered the spa, filled out the form and included the fact that I'd had breast conserving surgery months ago. I was then shown to a change room where I stripped off and put on a gown.  When I was taken to the massage room, took off the robe and lay on the table as instructed. Then the therapist checked the form and told me she wasn't permitted to massage me withing twelve months of surgery. I told her that my surgeon had cleared me to have a massage and that I had already had several massages at a treatment centre near my home. She left me in the treatment room to go and talk with her boss. I sat there for a good fifteen minutes knowing I was being discussed. I put my robe back on. I felt humiliated, embarrassed and angry that I'd been made to strip down only to be told that nobody was prepared to touch me. Eventually the manager came back with the therapist and asked me if I had a letter from my doctor. I replied, "No, because I'm a competent adult that wouldn't deliberately do something to damage my health! If my doctor hadn't cleared me I wouldn't be asking for a massage." At this stage I was so upset I was crying. This holiday was the first my husband and I had taken since the end of treatment and I was very much looking forward to having a massage as part of feeling good about my post-surgical body. Instead I felt like I had some kind of contagious disease! I returned to my room. When I felt a bit better I went back to the spa (it was within the hotel complex) and gave them two pieces of advice: 1. If there are categories of people that you won't massage it would be better to state this up front, rather than humilate people after they have stripped off.  2. Management and staff should read the excellent Cancer Council brochure on massage.   I have since found a specialist oncology masseuse. You can google to see if there's one near you. She's been a big part of my recovery. She even helped to improve the appearance of my mastectomy scars and my mobility through my chest muscles. Most importantly, she has helped me to feel well and confident in my post-cancer body.    She's also much cheaper than a fancy spa! 🙂 Best wishes with your recovery. I hope that sharing my story has helped you to know that you are not alone in experiencing ignorance and prejudice. Leave a review on trip advisor.  I did. ... View more

Hi there,   Congratulations on being keen to get back to exercise. I practice yoga every day now and it's made such a difference to my recovery.   I found the staff at Bras n Things really helpful. They are trained to properly fit all kinds of bras and one of them had special experience in dealing with post-surgery fittings. Just ask at your local store because it might be best to book in.    I also found that wearing something firm, like a compression top, helped to give me support. Apparently actual compression garments are also problematic (lymphodema risk) so choose something without arms and make sure it's firm but not too tight.    Learning how to manually drain your lymphatic system should be a part of your recovery. If you haven't been referred to an oncology masseause, a lymphodema specialist or a physiotherapist with expertise in this area then ask for a referral. Some breast care nurses, radiotherapy nurses and cancer centre nurses also have this expertise. It's easy to do (really just gentle brushing of the skin) and makes such a difference. I ultimately needed a bilateral mastectomy and I was at high risk of lyphodema but thanks to learning how to care for my body I've had no problems at all.  Best of luck with it all. The golden rule is to listen to your body and don't try to do too much too soon. There's no upper limit to how well you can be.    Meg X ... View more