Hi Nicky, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 RCC in Feb and it has spread to her lungs, liver, bone and brain. Like you I am an only child and really close to my mum so I am beyond devastated. Unlike you I am a lot older (46) and I just can’t begin to imagine how painful this must be for you, soon to be losing both parents. You said you have a lot of loving and supportive extended family around you - let them help you. Trust your instincts on who has your best interests at heart. I also found a great psychologist who has been a wonderful help in just letting me unload. (It may take some time to find someone you connect with but persevere, your GP could possibly help you with recommendations).  On a personal note, some days I don’t know what to feel, I can just feel empty some days and others the grief is overwhelming. I can actually get physical symptoms when the grief becomes too much, that’s when I need to let it out and bawl my eyes out, it’s just that sometimes the crying won’t come, it’s like my body has shut down to protect me from all this emotion. It’s the waiting that I find is the worst, watching her get worse by the day, watching such a strong, independent woman struggle to walk and talk and all the other humiliating things that happen. It’s like living in a limbo land, waiting. I wish I had words of comfort for you but I don’t. What you have been through and what you are going through sucks big time, there is no other way to describe it. I really hope that you get the help and the support you need, sending a lot of love your way honey. From another broken hearted child. ... View more