I hope your remaining time with your kids is filled with as much love, happiness, emotional nourishment as possible. Just a couple of quick suggestions , if that's OK: 1) sounds like you're relying heavily (and solely) on the advice of your oncologist ? Ask about immunology trials, as the science is heavily heading in that direction. My step-father (who did eventially die) had Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, metastasised throughout his body. He was given 6 weeks to live. On an immunology trial, he managed to stretch that out for about 5 years. If there is anywhere that you are a candidate to jump on the scientific bandwagon and get some immunology-oriented drugs, it might give you more time (who knows, in future maybe even turn it around ? *) * sorry if that creates unrealistic hope, but personally I reckon any kind of hope is worth reaching for, even to our last breath 2) Consider making some videos for upcoming birthdays and moments (that you will hopefully be there for). Especially for the 2 year old, the future person she becomes may really cherish a chance to understand who her mother was, what kind of weird hobbies and ideas she had, that kind of thing. Don't go the morbid "ohh I loved you so much, waah waah waah" route but rather tell stories about your life, articulate your thoughts and feelings and hopes about hers. And for the ten year old, be mindful of grief on her young mind and the great memories she already has. I'd make videos in that context "remember when we went bushwalking ? ha-ha. I miss you, but above all else I want you to be happy." You know what I mean .. something in the context of suffering a major loss and coming to terms with it .. not scratching at the wound and stopping it from healing but rather helping her navigate to that place. (**) ** hopefully that doesnt TAKE AWAY hope, but at the end of the day I just wanted to suggest it as I think it's a really nice way to connect the past you to the present you and into the future them All the best & good luck
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.