Hi all, In advance, apologies for the long post and Thank You for reading. My Mum is 72, already not in the best of health (pacemaker, diabetes and legally blind) and at the end of January a CT scan for something else completely unrelated discovered a large mass in her liver. As no other tumours could be seen it was assumed it was a slow-growing primary liver cancer which had been there for years and plans were formulated to try chemo to hopefully shrink it, (surgery wasn’t an option due to her health and the amount of liver that would need to be removed) pending biopsy results. We saw the Oncologist for the results just over a week ago now and got a shock-the liver cancer was secondary, not primary and most likely originated from the pancreas and/or bile duct and “migrated” from it’s original position to the liver. The Oncologist also said it’s likely she has cancer in other parts of her body as well even though they didn’t show up on the scans at this stage. Any chemo they could offer would make her sicker than she already is and only give her an extra couple months or thereabouts, so she decided against it. She asked the Oncologist to tell her what the prognosis is either way and to not sugar-coat it. He said on average, of those with her advanced metastatic type of cancer, 50% make it to 9 months with treatment. With no treatment, average is around 2 months. Fortunately at this stage although getting worse, her pain is manageable but we know it will get much worse before the end. We’re trying to make sure she can stay at home for as long as possible until toward the end, when she’ll go into hospice. A Palliative nurse will be visiting her weekly from now on to check up on how she is going. I’m the only one of my siblings who lives locally so am arranging all the paperwork for Enduring Power of Guardianship, Attorney and her Will according to her wishes and have been doing my best to help with meals, washing dishes, washing clothes and shopping while we try get practical home help put in place. I contacted family and close friends to let them know after finding out the news and am also keeping in touch with my siblings and updating them whenever there’s anything new to report. Most days I’m so exhausted by the time I get home I manage to have something to eat before going to bed and completely passing out. People tell me I’m strong and am being brave but I don’t feel like I am at all. I cry a lot before dropping off to sleep and have had some nights where I haven’t even been able to get to sleep until early morning (in one instance, until 6am) I am on a Disability Pension myself, (Husband is my carer) on meds for a long term heart issue, have bipolar disorder and am unable to take the meds that work for me as they counteract the heart meds. I’m starting to find things a struggle and fear that everything will get too much and I will have a breakdown and not be able to help Mum anymore. My Husband and Daughter have been saints, Husband driving Mum and I to appointments and being supportive of us both, understanding when I’m too tired to cook dinner, or being snappy and irritable, or generally just not very present in my Family’s life, he and my Daughter have been taking turns looking after things at home, cooking etc. So that’s where things are right now. I know this is not going to be an easy road for any of us and thought if I was able to talk to others familiar with what’s ahead that it might help. 🙂 ... View more