Definitely go and see a doctor and have your fears either confirmed or denied.  Worrying about having cancer is terribly debilitating.  You are 18 and have the best of life still to come.  You have a 50% chance of not carrying the gene.  Always try to find the positive because negativity will kill you.  Ask to have genetic testing done to be sure either way.  If you find out that you're safe, party, travel, love, find your purpose in life and live a full life in honour of your brother and your father.     I wish you well and hope you can find the courage to approach this head on and get the answers you need.   Good luck. x ... View more

Shock takes a while to recover from.  It will slowly become your reality.  I found the worst thing to be the fear of the surgery as the surgeon said it would be brutal as the salivary gland had to be cut out from the mouth and the neck.  When I arrived for surgery instead to jumping off a cliff, staff were very quick and professional. One minute I'm standing up and the next minute I'm out of it.  Exactly what I needed before I passed out from anxiety.  I learned to trust in the professionals and just have faith in their expertise.  Tumour was taken out with clear margins and here I am five years later.  The biggest hurdle is fear.  My daughter told me something that helped me.  It will be over by lunch time or dinner time.  You will find your way and I think colon cancer has a really good recovery rate.  I wish you the best doctors, nurses, surgeons and anaesthetists to get you through it. ... View more

Your best news so far is - clear margins.  It means they took out the whole thing.  Yes you will have to be monitored for a long time but that's part of the process.     You do need to think of your own mortality and put things in place to help you deal with this.  Ask for help.  Especially from your partner.  Every day you have with you children is a bonus day that could last for years and years.  Make each one special.  I once had a brain aneurysm and there was a 3 day delay in diagnosis.  On the third day I got up really early made my children pancakes for breakfast and chocolate muffins for their lunch boxes.  There were 4 under 8.  How could they possibly know I was a great mum from that?  I just needed to do it.   Luckily I survived another 39 years and counting and have had the most wonderful blessings through my husband, my children and grandchildren.  Look for hopeful stories.  Be kind and gentle with yourself.  You will get through this. ... View more

Hi Grandia,   I'm terribly sorry for your diagnosis and for your trouble conceiving.  That's a really rough time.  The time between diagnosis and waiting for test results is the hardest.  It's a space in time of the unknown.  Can you talk to your GP about giving you something to sleep?  Sleep deprivation is incredibly hard and there's nothing worse than a cancer diagnosis and sleep deprivation combined.     I've found that most people do better once they know exactly what their diagnosis is, the results of test and surgery, chemotherapy or radiation organised.  Once you know the plan, you know what is ahead of you and can release some of the stress.   I wish you well on your journey.   ... View more

Hi,    I can't add more than what the other two posts have said to you.  It's good advice.  Do look up some of the terms to know what it is you need to know.  My surgeon told me not to google the disease but I did.  I felt more. in control once I did and even found some hope from doing so.  Ask your doctor or surgeon to explain to you exactly what you have and what that means.  Don't be embarrassed to ask questions.  You don't have a medical degree therefore they are used to explaining the terminology to patients.     I wish you great support and the best team to advise you on your journey. ... View more

I'm so sorry Layla.  Cancer is a brutal disease.  There is not much I can say but I wanted you to know that I feel for you.  It's a horrible diagnosis and I hope you find the best people and advice that you can get.   ... View more

Hi Phil,   Sorry for not responding earlier but I had no internet yesterday due to an overdue account that I'd forgotten to pay.     I cannot imagine being sent home on the day surgery was to take place.  I know how much courage, fear and anxiety you have to go through to front up at a hospital for major surgery.  We live in difficult times and yes Covid may be boring but your story highlights exactly why we need to vaccinate and keep ourselves out of ICU or the hospital system will be overwhelmed and planned surgeries will not be able to take place.     I think the time of your email was 12.39p.m. and ai thought of you writing it and not being able to sleep.  I think it should be mandatory that you are given something so you can sleep on the night after surgery.  There is nothing worse than being sleepless in a hospital, all by yourself and worrying.  I remember thinking- all the drugs in the world available in ICU and I cannot sleep.  That situation should be remedied in the future.  Perhaps we should advocate to people preparing for surgery to take a sleeping tablet with them.  I wouldn't normally suggest breaking rules but sleeplessness in a hospital is something I fear.   I wish you every success in your recovery from your surgery.  I know you will be dreading chemo and I hope they find one that is less harsh on your system.  You are braver than you know, stronger and more resilient than most people so I think you will come through this.  I'll be thinking of you for what lies ahead of you and hoping you can do this.  All the best to you and your family.     ... View more

oh Phil, that's really rough.  I hope you come through the surgery successfully.  Yes, it's major surgery but you are extremely tough.  I hope you get through this with flying colours.  You have such a positive attitude and I hope you take some great music with you to silently dance.  Sending you my best wishes for a great outcome and a speech return to health.   ... View more

Hi Eagle,   I'm so sorry about your diagnosis.  That's a really rough one.  I think the answer to your question - if there is nothing they can do for you, why go through the trauma of chemotherapy and it side effects, if it is not going to help - is a tough one.     What are the specialists telling you?  Are there any advancements in the treatment of Mesothelioma that are currently available to you?  I'd make sure to really get expert advice as to what your treatment options are.  If they are not good and you don't believe it is worth going through chemotherapy, surgery or radiation, then that's a decision only you can make.  It must be a frightening position to be in and a very hard decision to make.   I hope you find the answer you are looking for.  I wish you every success on your journey. ... View more

Hi Mel17,   I'm really sorry you're facing this at age 30.  It must be incredibly stressful and difficult.  I don't know why you are having the numerous tests and ultrasound for different areas.  You just have to trust the experts.  Perhaps they are doing it this way because in their experience, it's the best way to locate your primary.  You can ask them that question though and I'm sure they will be able to explain it to you fully.  Part of this process is you asking the right questions about what is worrying you greatly.  There probably won't be answers to all your questions yet until they have more information.  I think this period of time is the most frightening because you don't know hat all your options are or how effective your treatment could be.     I think what most of us have done here is plan for the worst and hope for the best.  I know that's not terribly helpful but that's all we have to go on in the initial stages.  Don't be scared of what is on the internet.  If you want to research then go to highly informed sites like major hospitals or research facilities.  Sometimes knowing survival rates and long term outcomes can help but the information has to be professional and qualified.  Knowing what the options are can help you make informed choices.     The biggest lesson I learned was to trust in the people that are there with the skills and knowledge you need to get the very best outcome, which I had.  I couldn't have been luckier with the outcome as it was diagnosed early and treated aggressively.  It's a really hard path to be on and especially during lockdown without support from those closest to you so you will have to rely on your partner.     Your question about future fertility is an important one so speak up and get the answers you need.  The quicker you can get answers to your questions the less stress you will be under.   We're all afraid of dying and that's just part of the process.  In the early days of diagnosis I talked to my husband a great deal about what lay ahead of us.  Sometimes we'd even laugh about things in our black humour moments.  I told my husband I would set up an online dating account for him and would give him great references before I died.  I didn't die so he's very happy to not have gone through the online debacle!  You have to just keep going on this journey and not give up.  If we didn't get hit by a bus today, we still have lots of tomorrows to fight for.     I wish you all the very best on your journey and hope that you and your partner can come through this.  Please let us know how your journey progresses.  Stay strong and positive.  You have so much to live for.     ... View more