Wow, out of frustration I literally googled “husband has cancer feels sorry for himself not treating me very nicely” and was taken right to this discussion. It’s a relief to know that I’m not alone, but still sad to see others hurting and upset like me. My husband was diagnosed with multiple myeloma this spring and is two weeks away from completing 16 weeks of chemo, with a stem cell transplant to follow next month. The chemotherapy has been getting tougher as it goes along, and surprisingly I’ve done a good job of supporting him with the physical horrors of the treatments, and I have to give him credit for being strong as well. It’s the mental aspects of the chemo and cancer that are making it tough.  As someone mentioned, the chemo brain is very real. I’ve endured his confusion with events and conversations and him turning that confusion on me. It seems like he alternates by treating me like I’m and idiot, and arrogantly ordering me around. Listening to some of your stories, it feels like our loved ones lash out and exploit our weaknesses, treating us how it hurts us the most. Tonight I finally snapped and tried to tell him how I’ve been feeling, which resulted in him crying, claiming he doesn’t want to be a burden, and running off to bed. Great. Now I can add guilt to my anger. It’s hard  realizing that communicating doesn’t fix much when you’re dealing with cancer of a loved one. There’s so much anger, sadness, and physical and mental pain that just won’t go away no matter what. Stay strong everyone. Know that even if there are dark days, there will also better days. And there are lot’s of us who know exactly how you feel ♥️ ... View more

Wow, out of frustration I literally googled “husband has cancer feels sorry for himself not treating me very nicely” and was taken right to this discussion. It’s a relief to know that I’m not alone, but still sad to see others hurting and upset like me. My husband was diagnosed with multiple myeloma this spring and is two weeks away from completing 16 weeks of chemo, with a stem cell transplant to follow next month. The chemotherapy has been getting tougher as it goes along, and surprisingly I’ve done a good job of supporting him with the physical horrors of the treatments, and I have to give him credit for being strong as well. It’s the mental aspects of the chemo and cancer that are making it tough.  As someone mentioned, the chemo brain is very real. I’ve endured his confusion with events and conversations and him turning that confusion on me. It seems like he alternates by treating me like I’m and idiot, and arrogantly ordering me around. Listening to some of your stories, it feels like our loved ones lash out and exploit our weaknesses, treating us how it hurts us the most. Tonight I finally snapped and tried to tell him how I’ve been feeling, which resulted in him crying, claiming he doesn’t want to be a burden, and running off to bed. Great. Now I can add guilt to my anger. It’s hard  realizing that communicating doesn’t fix much when you’re dealing with cancer of a loved one. There’s so much anger, sadness, and physical and mental pain that just won’t go away no matter what. Stay strong everyone. Know that even if there are dark days, there will also be better days. And there are lot’s of us who know exactly how you feel ♥️ ... View more