Hi, I am new to this community. My husband of 31 years is currently battling terminal cancer, and has been told he has only months to live. He was first diagnosed with colon cancer three years ago, and since then his cancer as spread to other major organs. Throughout this journey, I have felt repeatedly pushed aside. He has attended his appointments by himself, and even his chemo. I have offered and want to be there but he has pushed me away. As this journey has progressed he has become more withdrawn, especially lately. He rarely tells me anyone that he loves me, he rarely shows any interest in me sexually, and doesn't seem to care about me at all. On his good days, he uses his energy to engage in his hobbies (outdoor) but never wants to spend time with me. He complains to me constantly about his pain etc, which I get as he has to talk to someone. When I try to express my feelings to him, he dismisses them and has no interest in hearing what I have to say, and his frequent phrase is "I'm the one with cancer". Last week, he lashed out at me with anger and was pretty verbal which is completely out of character for him. My heart is breaking, as it is bad enough to lose your soulmate to cancer, but then to feel that they no longer love you is heartbreaking. I guess when I think of how I would respond, to me I would want the last days of my life surrounded by and spending time with the people I love. It is so painful that he doesn't want that. Has anyone else experienced something similar and how did you deal with it?
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