My husband also tells everyone that his friends are his support, never mentioning me. I have been through everything with him, never once leaving his side. Yet, if a friend  calls or visits he will post on social media how they are helping him so much to get through his cancer battle. I have had friends from out of our area actually message me that they are wondering if I have been with him - since he never mentions me. This really hurts. Of course I cover my hurt and assure them I have always been with him and he just forgets to mention me. We both lost our first spouses to illnesses after long marriages. So, we have only been married 5 years and are in our 60’s. You never want to compare spouses in a second marriage, but my first husband was not like this at all. I am beginning to lose hope... ... View more

Sorry I took so long to answer. My husband hasn’t had any steroids. He had the surgery in early December and stayed in the hospital for 10 days. He refused any nursing care at home ( our insurance would cover it ) and everything fell on me. We were in the emergency room every day the first four days home for issues that came up basically because he refused to follow the at home care orders. His anger is the reason because when I tried to remind him what medications to take, he didn’t listen. I was hoping one of the ER doctors would admit him, but he made it really clear he didn’t want that. He is recovering very well now and all follow up appointments have him healing as best as can be expected. Since he was originally on a feeding tube and now all liquids, he really got upset when I ate (not sure why). So, I have lost 25 lbs from having to just grab a quick snack whenever I could. I had my physical last week and my doctor was alarmed with my weight loss (I was not overweight to begin with). My doctor questioned me a lot, but I was too afraid to share the truth. He did set up an appointment with a nutritionist for me this week, so I can gain back the weight before my own health suffers. I am worried how my husband is going to react, so I haven’t told him yet. I have learned that if I only spend as much time as needed with my husband, things are better - I guess he prefers solitude over my companionship 😢 I pray every day that things will change because I want a loving relationship again with him.  ... View more

First time posting, but very glad I found this online group. My husband was diagnosed in late August with cancer of the esophagus, stage 3, GE junction. He has been receiving Chemo and radiation since the second week of September and finishes this week with surgery scheduled for the beginning of December. It is a life changing surgery and for the rest of his life he will be very restricted on eating very small amounts of food and zero alcohol. Since the cure rate is low, I feel we can live with the eating and drinking restrictions as long as he is alive! He has been angry at me from almost day one. No one else. We have grown children. He is his normal self around the children and all the doctors. It pains me to go to appointments and see other patients holding hands and talking with their spouses, while he is absolutely silent without even acknowledging that I am right next to him. If I express my hurt feelings, it makes him verbally angry at me, so I have learned to just hide my feelings. I feel so much guilt for feeling hurt when he has the cancer. I really have no one to talk to about this and each day feel a little more hopeless. ... View more