My mum has multiple myeloma, she’s been living with it for a few years now and managed to knock it down a little through chemo and a stem cell transplant. Well, it’s back now, I guess it was never really gone, but it’s definitely back and getting worse. I am so scared about so many things, the main one being my mum is going to die soon and I have no idea what I will do without her. I’m scared that she is scared or that she will know I am scared when it eventually comes for her, I’m scared of how bad she will be in the final months physically, I’m scared I am going to f?&k my life up gambling/drinking/smoking which I always had under control but seem to be losing that now, I’m scared that I continue to disappoint my wife by coming home drunk and having spent hundreds of dollars and that I hate myself for days after doing that yet continue to do it anyway. There’s a million things I am scared of but these are big ones so I was hoping maybe someone out there knows how I feel and how I can gain back some control. Thank you for reading this and I really appreciate any advice you might have.
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.