My mum has multiple myeloma, she’s been living with it for a few years now and managed to knock it down a little through chemo and a stem cell transplant. Well, it’s back now, I guess it was never really gone, but it’s definitely back and getting worse. I am so scared about so many things, the main one being my mum is going to die soon and I have no idea what I will do without her. I’m scared that she is scared or that she will know I am scared when it eventually comes for her, I’m scared of how bad she will be in the final months physically, I’m scared I am going to f?&k my life up gambling/drinking/smoking which I always had under control but seem to be losing that now, I’m scared that I continue to disappoint my wife by coming home drunk and having spent hundreds of dollars and that I hate myself for days after doing that yet continue to do it anyway. There’s a million things I am scared of but these are big ones so I was hoping maybe someone out there knows how I feel and how I can gain back some control. Thank you for reading this and I really appreciate any advice you might have. ... View more