Hi Sebsss, I hope you are feeling a bit better today. I am sorry to hear that your family is going through this really difficult ordeal. I definitely understand how you feel about opening up to friends who haven't experienced this because they will never be able to comprehend the mental/emotional/physical/psychological and possibly financial stress that people like us go through. I so feel for you, my family and I are still recovering from the loss of my beautiful mother, we learned about her stage 4 breast cancer (metastasized in lungs) just last Jan 2020, her lungs failed her in the end last Apr 22 and all of us in the family were not ready for it and were still very hopeful then that she will be with us till October. But yea, God had other plans. I am not sure if you are a spiritual person but looking back, I realized I survived the pain of it all with the help of prayers and trusting that whatever happens to my Mom, God can love her more than we do. I was born Catholic but was never really spiritual as such but during that period, I am not sure why I started praying a lot again and I still do to this date. Maybe that time I did it because it gave me hope, when doctors were telling me that my Mom was dying and I just need to wait for that day, like you, I wanted to be strong for my family whilst I openly cry in front of them, praying became an outlet for me to really speak out what I am feeling, no filters needed and it helped me. Being in forums like this community and watching youtube videos on life after death helped me too coz it made me realize that I wasn't the only one who was having it tough and as for the life after death videos, I guess it gave me an assurance somehow that when my Mom leaves she will be fine ( I will never know if there is really life after death or if there is really God until I die myself but yea, it makes me feel million times better holding on to faith than not having it at all).   Keep making memories, take videos and photos lots of it, pamper and spoil ur Dad, give him what he wants and fulfill all his wishes, sort out any legal docs (any assets/bank accts in his name) while he is still capable and if he is ready that he is gonna go soon, discuss his funeral wishes too.    Take care of yourself above all, cry it all out if you need to and don't ever hold back on doing that. Openly discuss how you are feeling with your family, I am sure that they are feeling the same way and like you, they must be dying to open up their emotions as well. Even after Mom passed away, in my family we cry in front of each other till now and no one says anything, we have a silent understanding that we need the tears to cope with grief. Lastly, looks like you are quite close to your Dad, all I can say is accept that life will never be the same again when he is gone, the easy part for me was the sleepless nights in hospital and everything I needed to do for my Mom when she was still fighting. The hardest part is now, when she will never be around me ever and I can only talk to her in my mind and just imagine how she would have responded. I am far from being normal again and I am just living with the fact that at some point it will not hurt as much hopefully. So yea, mentally ready yourself for a new normal but always think about the brighter sides too else you will feel really negative about it- I always think now that Mom is not in pain and resting way better now and anyway death is certain for everyone so appreciate living and if there is really after life, I look forward to meeting her again someday.   keep safe and hoping to hear from you again! ... View more

Hi Tracee, How are you doing? I hope you are well.  Apologies I havent been active, my beautiful Mom got really sick around Holy Week and peacefully passed away last Apr 22nd after 9 days in the hospital. The metastasized cancer in her lungs caused difficulty breathing and after a lung surgery to fix it up she got pneumonia/sepsis and never recovered anymore. Our family is coping well so far although I am still grieving and crying every now and then, but she had a peaceful passing surrounded by all of us in the family when it happened. We are all relived that all the anxieties she had on whether she will still respond to treatment and our anxieties on how we can best care for her and all sorts of fear are now gone. I try to convince myself that God can love her more than we can and maybe it is His Way of saving her from Covid-19, who knows! But we take comfort knowing that she is resting in peace now and maybe reunited with my grandparents and her siblings now. It aches to move on and carry on with life knowing that there will always be that physical presence missing going forward. They said time heals but i dont think it will in this case and I just need to adapt living without her physically around anymore. I look forward to the day that it wont be as painful but reading other forums, they said the grief comes in waves and if it is, so be it. One thing which still makes me sad is because of the lockdown situation, there are no flowers available in the market. Luckily my Dad had some flowering trees in our backyard and my sister and I made a bouquet with whatever was available on her cremation day. We couldn't even hold a funeral service so friends and relatives can say bye to her coz no one can come anyway and we had to decide that we will just do straight cremation and then memorial seevice later on when the world is back to normal. Mom's urn is still in our house now, we couldnt move it in her columbarium yet so I just talk to her every now and then and imagine what she would have said.  ... View more

Hi Tracee, sending you virtual hugs. i am really sorry about your husband, I pray he recovers well with his treatment. My Mom is taking more on the palliative care route, no chemo or radiation therapy for her so as much as I want to be hopeful I am accepting it day by day now that she is ready to go. I was just talking to my friends earlier and I told them that this is something they dont teach u in school, no matter how I convince myself that it is okay to let her go soon I don't know if there will come a day that I won't feel the devastation. I keep on reminding myself that everyone will pass on including me but yea, the emotional turmoil of this all is driving me nuts and I always pray for the day that I wake up and feel better about it. As I type this now, Mom is having a hard time breathing, looks like we have to go to the hospital again tomorrow and I need to wear my I-am-strong mask on. We will all make this through some way or the other and I wish we all come out stronger after this ordeal. While I promote letting it all out, pls pls pls stay healthy and look after yourself. Again, you are not alone in this and I am thinking of you. ... View more

Hi Brodie, pls let it all out, not in front of her probably because she needs to see that you are strong. I am currently in the same boat as you are, Mom got diagnosed with breast cancer last January which has spread to her lungs already. I am the one accompanying her to all her hospital appointments and her day to day support now and I can see that she is happy that I am around looking after her. I am scared, I am fearful of what can happen sooner or later and this COVID situation is not helping too but I need to be healthy so I am in my right mind and reason when doctors discuss things with me but I let myself breakdown every night. You are not alone in this, I am not sure how spiritual you are but praying has been helping me cope with the stress and burden of my family situation now. Pls take care and vent it out here if you need to just let it all out. We are here for you.  ... View more