At least you have some time to spend with your mother. Because my mom didn’t tell anyone that she was sick, and waited far too long to seek treatment, I had no warning. It’s like she was killed in a car accident. Once she was in the hospital, I only got to speak with her once and because the doctors were, evidently, not in the same page about her status, we kept getting conflicting formation. So, we should have been able to see her, given that she was terminal but that decision was made too late by the doctors. I just keep replaying ly last conversation with her and it tortures me. If my mother wouldn’t have been so stubborn, she’d still be here. I blame myself for not picking up on the fact that she wasn't feeling well for some time.
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My mother was treated for breast cancer in 2012. We thought she was cancer-free. A couple of years later, she started having some odd symptoms. She saw primary doctors but wouldn’t go back to see an oncologist. She had been through a lot in her life, medically, and didn’t want to endure anymore. The symptoms continued. She hadn’t been feeling well for a while but swore my brother to secrecy in telling him that she thought her breast didn’t feel right. In December, her breast started bleeding but she never told anyone. She started having severe leg pain but we all thought it was an injury. She detonated to the point that she couldn’t even get to the bathroom. She finally went to the hospital, where she was diagnosed with metastatic cancer-a hip sarcoma that had caused a fracture, and spots on her lungs and liver, plus the large breast tumor. She had an emergency mastectomy to help an infection. We were told by the surgeon a week ago that after the surgery, she’d get the hip treated and with chemo, she’d be able to live a mostly normal life for a few years. The infection remained and fluid developed in her lungs. Her oxygen levels got low but a couple of days ago ee were told she was stable. Yesterday, a different doctor gave us another story. At 440 this morning we got a call that she had rapidly deteriorated and while we were on our way to the hospital to see her one last time, we got a call that she passed. Because of COVID, we couldn’t be there with her through any of this. If the surgeon would not have given us false hope, we could have had her at home with is for a few weeks. I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown. My parents are my life. I’m not married I don’t have kids, I have medical issues myself, and I have no female family members to console me. i don’t know how I can live without being able to see and speak to my mom. This is so devastating. I really can’t handle it. I’m an adult but I need my mom!
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.