You are right. Once time has mitigated some of the pain I will be able to look back and be grateful to know I was with her when she passed.  I am so sorry you could not be there with her. Your sadness is justified.    I know you are going though the same thing as my sister who couldn't come because she is a nurse and was infected with the COVID virus. The only thing I could comfort her with was that our mom was not alone. I'm not sure if it helped her to know that or if she was just saying that to make me feel better. But, I hope it give her some comfort.    I want to say you shouldn't blame yourself. But I can't. I blame myself for not doing more.  My mom and I were never close in the conventional sense. It was only the last few years that we became closer. I whish I called her more; visited her more. But life gets in the way of such things and then you feel regrets. And I think that's O.K. This isn't the only regret I have and I have leaned from them so I don't repeat them.    It's O.K. to feel sad. We should feel sad. But we can't stay in sadness forever.  I don't know you mother, but I know my mom would want me to linger in grief too long. She would want me to remember the good days we had. If your mom was like my mom, she would want the same for you.  When you're ready.      ... View more