Hello Tree and cemo.  I'm still learning how to to this.  Had a great day today and will be working remotely from home tomorrow.  Still trying to train some young recent Grads on how things really work.  Ha.  Slept last night well.  Got in about 4 good hours and napped probably 2 hrs today.  Not bad.  Just took one magic pill, and that's good.  Try not to be foolish with them.  I've had a wonderful time.  Life's been good to me. I think of those folks that haven't and are hurting and alone and I hope all your prayers are for them.  I'm lucky.  I have my wife who hovers over me like a .....(I was going to say buzzard and rethought it) 😎,,,hovers over me like a majestic eagle...Yep.....that's better, and I would be a scared, lost soul  in a dark room searching for the door. Bless you all ... View more

I am.  It's all so stupid.  My Cancer Dr. says I need to take them at a much higher rate than I do.  Honestly the OXY has no effect on me like getting high.  It does help stop the pain.  I was the one that weened myself off them the month I spent in the Hospital.  Lost my right lung.  I'd watched too many tv shows about folks getting addicted and all kind of bad things happening.  I was taking the maximum dose in the hospital that only helped me sleep.  I was in college in the 70's.  I know what party high is...Ha.   This stuff did zero and I could have anything I wanted including Morphine and whatever else.  Now that I'm out, the Doctor is  getting in trouble for refilling my oxy.  Had two more emergency stays in er that pretty much lasted most of a  year.  Still not addicted and Doctors arguing that I need the meds but they risk losing their ability to give opioids to other cancer patients. I will pray for you and hope you do well.  I'll be fine.  God and I are buds and my wife knows I love her.  I'll handle the rest. Please be well.  I have no idea how to communicate on this site, but this was important to me.  Helps me too. ... View more

You are cool. Love the user name.   You know when it rains it pours.  Our 14 year old Yorkie Bella, passed over the weekend.  My wife is a mess and cried for two days.  I cried too and proud to admit it.  Bella was give to my wife by her best friend who recently died of cancer.  It was to comfort my wife when I traveled and take her thoughts off the loss of our only daughter. Reason one, I cannot (and will not) let my wife know when I'm having a bad day.   I can hide the panic attacks but sometimes she sees right through the mask.  My sadness (fear) I guess has it's own way of showing.   I'm good and I can handle it.   I'm getting where I can accept whatever happens and I'll do it with a smile.   I pray for you and I'm here if you need to yell and scream.  I'll even give you my work cell.  Lot's of my staff like to yell on that one so it's well broke in, as am I. Peace is cool.  So be cool . Pal  Steelfingers ... View more

I'm scared too.  I would wish your fear away if I could.  Brush it away like a butterfly but I can't.  Maybe we can do it together.  At least a little. I hide my emotions from my wife and sister.  My wife has had enough with the death of our only child several years ago.  I can't with my best friend because he too has  died from Cancer.  I am the godfather to his daughter and talking to her helps but still I don't let her in. I pray you have that someone you can talk to.  A dear friend, spouse or even me and others on this site. I have my faith, and that helps.  I hope you do as well but regardless you have to vent. Yell, scream at the top of your lungs you can even be mad at God (He's heard it all) just do anything that will let off some of the steam. I have cancer that cost me my right lung.  It will catch me but that don't mean I'm not running hard.  You run too.  Find the light in the darken room.  Remember you are loved and do whatever it takes to make you feel better.  Prayers to you Steelfingers  ... View more