Hi  i am 44 my husband passed away 2 months ago after a 5 year battle with bowel cancer He was diagnosed as terminal at that time the cancer had already spread we had gone through surgery loads of chemo and sert radiation with what I can only say as a really hard battle we all lost, that is  we have children 8 ,15,17 and they had to go through it just as much as us as we always involved them in the whole journey or roller-coaster ride the ups and loads of downs never knowing what was around the next corner  was the hardest but we spent every second we could together I was by his side all the way, he passed at home  we chose to get help from pal care he also as I read earlier passed when i went out for five min  and i was always there for him that hurt real bad and others tell me that is what some people do but why I wanted to be with him not leave him to go alone .I thought i was ready for what was inevitable but truly i was not prepared for the loss .I suffer every day and i know some will tell me be thankful as I have beautiful children but it just isn't the same as having your life partner there to cry, laugh be happy all those moments life puts out there for us i just miss him so bad and i have no other family to talk to not that they would understand as they have not been through anything like this ....worst of all no one really understands how lonely it can be after spending my whole life together and then just like that gone i was 15 when we met and till now 28 years we were happy had each other for support i do think he hung on as long as he could because he knew i was not ready but i dont think  i would ever be. If there is anybody in this same or similar position and wants to talk i would be happy to or if you are going through and want to ask me questions if i can offer advise in any way i would be happy to  ... View more