Interesting Nikki. I have been thinking lately about whether the involovement with this site is a constant reminder and do I need to move on. For me now, it still forms a support network that I wouldn't otherwise have. I am so pleased that you are able to focus on your little one and be happy with all of that involves. Great to be able to make that decision. Samex ... View more

Hi all, I really think that what cancer does is weed out those who trully care and are willing to see life from the patient's perspective (even wehn we are supposed to return to"normal"). I was very lucky with mnay of my friends - some driving great distances to have lunch ad visit. Usually they brought lunch with them. Some,however, drfited off into their own problems and lives. I haven't mourned those friendships at all. I am now much more selective I think and I know that I don't have the energy for those who aren't or weren't willing to ake an effort while I was unwell. One of my most noteworthy moments was when a friend had died about 2 months after I finished treatment. We had our "group" over for lunch to mourn and organise ourselves as he lived on the far north coast - a long way from Sydney. As we raised our glasses, one friend looked at me and toasted me and my survival very quietly. I was extremely moved and touched by hs thoughtfulness in our combined grief.Needless to say, we are all good friends. Deejay, you are in no way being unreasonable. Perhaps you will find that the ones who have stuck around are the really worthwhile ones. The other person is the one who has missed out! Samex ... View more

Hi Rabbit, Basically it sucks. Your Mum's chemo regime is very similar to what I had for bowel cancer after surgery (life saving). Honestly, it isn't fun but with you to support her, she will manage quite well I hope. I am so glad that you are taking her to new caledonia for a break - those moments are so important. My experience is that oncologists rarely give definite times due to the irrational and unpredictable nature of our disease.There are many here, to use Sailor's term, have lived beyond their use by date.perhaps that is something for you to hang onto at the moment. Your Mum will be delighted with her time with you and your Dad and if Venice isn't an immediate option, then perhaps it will come later. i am still hopeful for Machu Pichu! this is a really hard time for all of you, but the love that you all seem to have will certainly help your Mum and the rest of you take each day at a time. Don't forget the Cancer Council Helpline that can help you and your mum. Take lots of care, Samex ... View more

What would we do withut those friends? Glad that you had such a pleasant time. It is so important isn't it? I am currently on the central coast with my family and even though the weather is awful, it is good to just take some space. S ... View more

Hi Rabbit, Not rambling at all. It is what we survivors live with every day - fortunetly for me it hasn't happened but I feel so much for your Mum and yourself. It is the ongoing fear and perhaps because you know more now, there is a greater element of anxiety of what may lay ahead. Being a bowel cancer survivor, I agree that there is not so much less information, but less overt conversation. In no way am I besmirching breat cancer patients (they deserve all the care that they receive) but the high profile that they have allows them nurses and information that some of the rest of us have to go searching for. If only there was the frunding that allowed all of us to have that level of care. I'm so glad that you gave your mum treats when she recovered from the last fight with the beast. She will remember them. I also shudder at the injustice of those of us who basically look after ourselves but still have this affliction. Cancer IS NOT fair. I send both you and your mum best wishes and I'm sure that she will draw strength from you. Take care, Samex ... View more

It certainly does and sometimes I think that it must be of benfit for so many who have their faith to be able to fall back on it during tough times.Is fall back the right word? I have often considered my spirituality and it often just creates more questions than answers for me and at times I envy those who are convinved of their path. S ... View more

I am not a religious person Sailor, but the hope that this simple poem contains must be of benefit to all. Thank you for sharing. Samex ... View more

As usual, Sailor has the accurate and succinct answer. I must admit that I still respond with the pat answer of "just fine". Sometimes I relate the problems with my neuropathy but I qualify it "but at least I'm here to feel it".Often it depends who is asking. to those I know I can trust, i answer with "physically I'm great but I still struggle emotionally". All depends who it is. In your case,aling, it is the dumbest of questions and don't you just wish they would give you a hug instead? My thoughts go out to you and I hope that there are genuine firends who can help you through this. samex ... View more

Hi Willow, This may sound trite and all of that, but maybe this is what may give you the kick start to make those changes that we always promise ourselves. I know that when I was diagnosed I promised myself to look at life diffferently, take chances, do the improbable- but what did I do ? Slipped straight back into working too hard and giving constantly to others and no time for myself. What then happened - depression and anxiety! All I can suggest is to take some time and consider what is really important to you now - obviously not the scumbag of a manager. Maybe this can be turned into a positive, while at the moment it really stinks. Take lots of care, SAmex ... View more

Jill, I'm sorry that people have let you down. Maybe the one you know the least may become the one you know better? Maybe she is willing to understand? I hope that things sort themselves out somehow.Wish we could all go with you. S ... View more