My mum has pancreatic cancer and has refused all further treatment the drs said a few weeks when she came home she then said I have days left.    Shes very sleeply all the time, the carers from Macmillan came in and have increased her morphine for the pain as the tumour has spread and pushing on the stomach and bowels.  She has a tube for draining her stomach. Can only talk a little when she is awake as her mouth is dry and takes little sips of water to wash it out.  And she physically  cannot turn her self over  she needs someone to do it   -this is what my brother has described to me the situation is at home, I am here  in Sydney.  When I left England in late February she was bright, mobile eatting and drinking not a huge amount but enough not to lose any more weight..   And apparently the last lot of chemo and radiotherapy had shrink the cancer (my mother lied) I thought I had time to save up for UK quarantine and flights for one adult four kids and I would be there when this situation occurred.     I am on carers payment for my two boys so a loan or a credit card is not an option   I am devastated not only I cant be there for my mums last days I wont be able to be there for the funeral either.  I can't chat or text to my mum if I try to phone she is asleep and the only time I have caught her awake, it was like a party going on in her room, I have alot of siblings, so lots of partners and kids.  I dont expect it to be dead set quiet but just wanted to talk to my mum.   Yes its selfish of me to expect my brothers to give some space and my mum cant hold the phone herself.  I am only close to one of my brothers so he is the only one texting and ringing me, like I'm doing with him.  I feel so tired all the time and have a headache that wont go away.  Feel like I should get the doctor to increase my antidepressants as I am being to have no patience with anyone.  Which is my sign that maybe they arent working to good.   So after this long post what would you do if you were me? How should I feel?  Surely this must of happened to someone else or knowing my luck probably not ... View more