Hi Nikki2, I am sorry for your loss, 30 years with your soul mate , your grief is still very raw and it will take some time for you to start healing and learning to live this life without your Husband. I believe that those who pass are always with us in spirit. You mentioned you had a 17yr old son, that you do not talk much? Is there something your husband enjoyed doing that you and your son could participate in together? Maybe organise outings he would have loved, something that will help you both with your grief, to open up ,talk about your favourite memories of your Husband, his Father, the fun times. The hilarious moments you shared with him. I hope your grief eases enough, just a little for you to start living life again. The pain the both of you are in at the moment must be unbearable, please consider grief counciling, or read some books on dealing with grief? I have been reading Allison Dubois books. They have helped me with the loss of my Brother. Take Care Tam51
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