Hey Angelicyang. My heart is breaking for you because there is absolutely nothing you can do to take it away. I too had the pain of caring and loving my husband of 30 odd years during his (and mine) battle with brain cancer.He was first diagnosed in 2004 so our battle was long and Hard. The do gooders of the world tell you that at least you have time to say goodbye - but let me tell you that does not make it any better. Its so hard to watch the vibrant person that you feel in love with become a shadow of themselves. The indignity of death and palative care is so hard to deal with, you pretend that it is nothing for the carer to wipe their backsides and feed them but they know. (Death its nothing like the movies is it) I was however lucky that my Mark did not suffer pain as that was one of my biggest fears for him. He took himself off his seizure meds as he didn't like the effect his illness was having on me or our boys. (He had been talking about death for a week or so before that so he knew it was coming) After he stopped all his meds (I think that was the last act of love on his behalf that he could give me) he became much clearer in his thought process but he knew he didn't have long. About a week later he had a seizure. After we got him up and into bed I asked him if he felt alright. He said he did'nt know how he felt. That was the last words he spoke to me. My world is shattered and I prefer to live in my dream world where i think to myself Nah that didn't happen. I do have moments of reality but I can't cope there. My best advice to you is do what makes you and your partner happy. AND BREATH!!! Its such a personal journey and no one can understand how you feel even if they have similar experiences. And as for the dumb f@#* of the world that ask you how things are but you know they really don't want to know the real answer should mind their own business. My love to you and your family but I know that won't make it better. But it is sent with the best of intentions as death from cancer is like an 1000 and 1 emotions and what else can you say but it is poo If i hear one more time things happen for a reason i will scream. What bloody reason???? ... View more

Hi Mrs Elton I know exactly how you feel. My husband too has a brain tumour. We have had our tumours for 5 years. It is a primary grade 3/boardering on 4 in the temporal left. It is scary shit luv. With our first duck egg size tumour my husband had fatigue and forgetfullness which we put down to too much work. We were 43 at the time. Off to the hospital for our first removal.(we are up to three now.) Then radiation, then chemo. We have just finished our third lot of chemo and are starting on our fourth. Yeha!! I would love to have a chat and see if we could give each other some strength because some days you just don't think you can cope. But because it is someone that you love you just do, i don't know how but you do. I never talk to my husband about death because I can't cope with the thought. Its selfish but I can't do it. But we haven't reached that stage yet. It affects every aspect of your life and I have now come to realize that it will never be the same every again. But I can deal with that part. I do however believe that inner strength from the cancer sufferer is a huge isssue and I admire that greatly because I don't know if I could be strong and positive. My husband is of Irish decent and when we first were diagnosed his thoughts were oh that goodness I haven't got alziehmers I will have that fixed, which seems to keep his sprits up greatly even when he hasn't enough strength to walk from the lounge to the kitchen. My thoughts are with you and your children and I hope that there is a silver lining in your life soon. Any time you feel like venting your anger (cancer is a thousand and one emotions) regards kaz3161 ... View more