My husband had a brain tumour removed in 2017.  It was only the secondary cancer.  The doctors believed he actually had lung cancer, though a tumour was never found.  He was diagnosed with cancer of an unknown primary.     In October this year he was admitted to hospital where they discovered the cancer had spread to his liver.  He came home on 1st November and with the help of the wonderful palliative care team I cared for him until he passed away on 5th November.  I naively thought we would get through this  and he would be okay.  I just wasn't prepared for what lay ahead.  I believe he kept a lot of  what he was truly feeling from me to protect me.  His only concern was me.  It is 8 weeks today since he passed and I still can't believe he is gone.  The loneliness is what I find hard to deal with.  We were home bodies and were content in our little world.  We have acreage so I have been very busy with the help of 2 wonderful friends, caring for our property.  It helps me to cope.  But there are days where I could just cry all day.  I know I shouldn't feel sorry for myself and I try not to, but some days it is so hard to do.   It just feels good to get my feelings down.  Thank you for giving me this space to do just that. ... View more