My eldest brother was diagnosed late 2019, and passed mid 2020. It still doesn’t feel real and I don’t think it ever will.  My family was unable to hold a funeral for him as this was during covid.  Our family has never been the same since this happened, and every year it seems to get worse.  My dad was diagnosed just late last year, and despite going through all his rounds of chemo already, he still has years of other treatment ahead of him.  It seems I have just lost him more than I already did.  Although it seems very likely my dad will survive this, I can tell we are all thinking of the negatives due to my brother.    And this is where I feel extremely selfish.  I am absolutely terrified I also have cancer despite no serious symptoms that can be linked to it.  The kind my dad has is genetic and is 50/50 that I will have it.  I can’t get the thought out of my head that even if it is not the kind my dad has, I have another.  I am so scared I am going to die as well. I am only 18.    I can’t bring this up with my family as it will upset them, and I hav emo evidence to support this.  I am so stuck on what to do.  ... View more