19 days have passed, it feels like it was yesterday, it feels like it's been a lifetime. My heart aches, the years flow. I allow the grief to come, I do not try to bury it, grief is a testament of love. Even though you passed away in my arms, as I held you close to my heart as I wept, I still can't believe you passed on, this isn't real, I must wake up from this awful dream. I prefer to be alone, people ask questions, I'm not ready to answer, I can't keep my composure yet. They mean well, they aren't trying to hurt me, but help, and show compassion. But they cannot understand why I prefer to be alone, they've been blessed to not feel what so many of us feel. I don't know where my future will lead to, what my plans for tomorrow are, but I do know that although our journey together has ended, the road came to a fork, you went one way, I another. I truly believe that the two roads will again meet and become one, when my journey has ended and we will be together again. How I hated to let your hand go, to walk away. I tried to save you, God knows I tried. But you weren't mine to save, it was your time to go home, your energy went back to the heavens, your body returned to star dust. I love you always my Richard, Joe
