Mum was discharged from hospital yesterday and its lovely to see her back in her own home, more relaxed and comfortable. I've been shown how to give her the daily Clexane injection she needs following the blood clot and the first one this morning went smoothly. Phew. I suspect I will be mastering more new nursing skills such as this.
Today was also our first appointment with Palliative Care. Intimidating name especially when you've been there before. (My father-in-law also died of advanced cancer 7 years ago.)The doctor was very kind and gentle and yet was able to talk directly about some things that have just been too hard for us to verbalise. Just couldn't bring myself to ask about any sort of timeframe though. I need to have some sort of idea so we can make decisions and plans but maybe I can ask in a different context when Mum is not part of the discussion. It was good to find out about the specialist nurse who will come and see her, the doctor who can do home visits, the palliative care beds at a local hospital, options for pain relief etc I feel like I have some concrete information I can work with now.
The odd thing is that Mum thinks she is really well now after her stay in hospital. She told the doc she was "really fine" when he asked. And she IS so much better than when she was admitted. But....she seems to think it will last and that she doesn't really need any help from Palliative Care. I don't think she really has any idea how sick she is at this stage, which is kind of frustrating and makes it hard to help her. The doctor told her gently that she is not going to get any better than this and it will only be a downhill slope from here. I hate the feeling of waiting for the next downwards step. I know its coming and we will handle it with their help. I think I need to learn to live in this day and moment only. Not something I've ever been good at!
