A new week begins

[jsbach]

Well its the start of a new week and you guessed it, more tests. This time though they were the pre tests for the trial that I have been recommended for. I find out tomorrow if I made the trial or not (have fingers crossed but after the decline in news over the past three weeks am not getting my hopes up) We had a great weekend with about 14 people coming around on Saturday for a pizza and pasta night. We cooked. As per usual on these nights we cooked far too much and will be eating leftovers for a week. Mind you, I'm not complaining about it. The only problem with Saturday is that while I intended to let myself unwind a little (I felt that I had earned it) I let myself unwind a little too much. Problem of drinking nice red wine. Anyway, Sunday I felt sorry for myself all day - probably not a good thing to have done seeing as I need to be looking after my liver. I don't really regret it and am not going to do it again. It's hard work being positive and sharing the story with everyone. Must admit to breaking down on Saturday and saying to my wife I can't keep being the strong one around everybody. My wife is great. She let me get it out of my system and simply said "you don't have to be strong all the time, just be positive". She really is a wonderful woman. Started thinking about my will on the weekend (the cause of me breaking down). It's hard having to write one. I know that it's needed but it doesn't make it any easier. Sadly though, it can't be put off. Even though I intend to fight for as long as I can, I still need to think of the worst possible scenario and plan for that as well. Can't really think of anything else to write. Life goes on. Things need to be done. Writing this helps to clarify my thoughts and helps me accept what is happening a little more each time. Mind you, I wish I could do the same with my damn uni essay. C'mon Tim, stop procrastinating and just finish it! take care all. will post about the trial outcome Tim

[#2]

Hi Tim While making a will is confronting it needs to be done. I am living with Stage 4 breast cancer and wrote mine at diagnosis 14 months ago. I also set up a Medical Power of Attorney and a Financial Power of Attorney (if you have joint accounts these can be frozen at the very time your partner needs access to money.) The most confronting thing was writing a Living Will and discussing this with my treatment team regarding such things as Do Not Resuscitate etc. HOWEVER I only think of these end of life things when I read posts like yours, once they're done it is easy to push them out of your consciousness. I also am a teacher and using up my 2 1/2 years sick leave! With love Joy K

[jsbach]

Thanks Joy. I made the step and began the process of writing the will and power of attorney today. Hopefully then I will be able to do what you have done and push them to the back of my mind. I think at the moment I am still very overwhelmed with everything and trying to put things into order of what needs doing now and what can wait for a while. Take Care Tim

[SILLY]

What are you studying at uni ?It must be hard concentrating on that after your diagnosis. I hope you get into the trial.

[jsbach]

Hi Silly, I started a Grad Dip in Counseling this year. It's been a bugger to try and get things done for it and cope with everything that has gone on over the past week. Having now been diagnosed with terminal cancer kind of makes it seem pointless in continuing it. I think that, at least for now, I have decided to keep going as at least it will keep my mind busy.

[SILLY]

Continue with your studies if you can manage it or until you are sure you want to stop. It isn't wasted time if it keeps you happy.