Can't Stop Thinking

[Ally3]

Having a bad day with thoughts running around in my head that just won't stop. I was told yesterday that the reason one of my students has been giving me grief all year is because she doesn't want to get close to me in case I die. What am I supposed to do with this information? I am made to feel like I am to blame for the behaviour of other people because they can't cope. Well guess what, It's NOT MY FAULT! and i'm sick of the way I get treated. This is the latest in a long line of comments that people think it's OK to dump on me. When will people take responsibility for themselves and stop projecting onto me? I'm the one with cancer and quite frankly I CAN'T COPE! I struggle to sort out my own feelings half the time and people want me to sort out theirs as well, STUFF THAT FOR A JOKE! Could someone tell the world to stop, cause I want to get off for a while, I'm getting too dizzy?

[SILLY]

Sorry you are having a bad time at the moment.What age is the student in question? I am a teacher(primary),retired but pre-cancer diagnosis was doing relief work.I miss it a bit but can't face it with facial changes.Have adjusted to the idea of not teaching any more ,I think. Not sure what you can say to the student.Can you tell him or her that you will be around for a long time and expect to see improvements in attitude or behaviour because you know he or she is capable of this ? Can you say this without even referring to your cancer? I do not know your prognosis or you so I don't know if this is appropriate or helpful .I apologise in advance if I am out of line. I can imagine to some degree how you feel .Nobody can say that they really know for sure how another is feeling .

[Rachel_C]

Hi Ally3 I think when you have a cancer diagnosis or cancer treatment you become more vulnerable to things that previously you wouldn't have worried about.I am not sure about the age your student is but I am also a teacher and have found my strength in dealing with situations has greatly diminished. Sometimes I also feel very overwhelmed and at these times it is almost a sign to slow down, don't be so hard on yourself and regroup. When you said others can't cope I have also experienced this, with friends running the other way rather then having to deal with my situation. You cannot control this as a lot of people cannot deal with confronting issues but as you said this is not your problem but theirs. I wonder how I would have reacted to a friend or someone close having cancer. We have been through it but for others it is very scary and their own mortality is questioned.