Most devastating for me is my best friend of 40 years has chosen not to be my best friend anymore. The relationship will never be restored to what it was before the big c. It's all about loss. Loss of health, job,financial losses, body parts lost to be replaced with neuropathy, fatigue,brain fog etc... I've filled at least eight journals. Not one single friend has stuck with me. Enlightenment in the discovery of the majority humans incapable of unconditional love absent of judgement. A lesson to me about the "friends" I had chosen truly of such low caliber and quality. True best friend? 13 year old yellow lab and my 14mo old red border collie. My used to be best friend most concerned about my trust/will and her place in it since I'm a single mom of two, and my house. It seems to be human nature to turn one's back on a friend who becomes "needy" requiring more than a quick chat on the phone & a lunch date once a month.
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