My Dad is in the final stages of melanoma cancer.
It's aweful.
I am upset about so many things.
There is no information or support about anything!
Since he lives in the country there are no hospices.
Im sick of driving 2 hours to see him every couple of days and then drive home again. (selfish I know - but im totally exhausted)
I hate that he is unhappy. He can barely speak anymore and went into hospital two weeks ago ready to die. Things have only gotten worse since then.
The doctors keep giving us different life expectancys.....
He stopped eating partially months ago and for the last 3 weeks will only eat a mouthful of food at best.
Doctors said on March 26 he had only 2-3 weeks left. Then on 18th April again less than two weeks left. Then on 19th April 4-6 weeks (different doctor).
I hate being so far away from my family. ALL I do at the moment is work, sleep or drive to the country where he is. My family get to do their daily business and visit when its convenient. Its so much harder for me.
People think I shouldnt want him to die - but its not him anymore!!! He lies in bed sleeping and can get the energy to whispher a couple of words at best. It's aweful.
He always said before he was sick - he didn't want to be lying in a bed incapasitated. But he is .... and there's nothing we can do.
He asked me on Monday if I knew what the sparkly thing is? I have no idea and just wish I could tell him to make him happy.