When we get diagnosed with cancer it is mind blowing and yet for family and friends it is equally so and yet in a different way. As each of us are in different roles it is hard to fathom just how it affects one another. We can empathise and yet because its not happening to us in that exact way we can never truely know what it is like. For instance my mother has had to cope twice now with her daughter's mortality being challenged. We talked and she commented that this time as she is much older it has been more difficult and she has felt more helpless. The first time i was diagnosed my son was little. He was 3 weeks old when i first found the lump and around 11 weeks when i finally had "the" op to clear out the cancer. This time it has affected my son as he is now 21 and has been dealing with depression and then this happens. Despite that he has stepped up to the plate in so many areas, so something good has come out of a not so good situation. My best friend has struggled with my cancer and yet she has been there for me every inch of the way. I am such a lucky person!! I am surround by positive (yes i know its that word again) and brave people. Of course there have been the odd one or two who just cant deal and last time i had cancer that cut quite deep. This time however, i am not owning what is going on for them. It is their problem and i dont even go there now. If they need to cross the street so they dont talk to me then so be it. I dont mean to be heartless towards others, yet i dont want to take onboard their negativity either. Hope that makes sense. So many rants and soap boxes and so little time. Gosh this journey evokes some thought patterns and emotions that we normally wouldnt have to look at.
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