Time is all we have. I live in a hospice bubble. If my husband smiles its like a major event. If he eats half his meal I'm happy. It's amazing how the little things become moments of joy when joy is so far from our every day lives. I'm learning new parts of me that I never thought existed. My ability to cope with every change although this requires adjustment which usually involves lots of tears and sleepless nights. At the moment I wake ul at around 2am every morning with a panic attack. The anxiety is palpable. But, I find my strength again and I get on with the day at the hospice, feeding, changing him, bathing him, holding his hand and talking with him, about nothing. He will be gone soon and all this will seem like a nightmare. But, I will be ok, eventually.........
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