GBMs how quickly things change

[Minx]

MRI Monday night, told there was new tumour Wednesday with talk of more surgery and further chemo options. Meeting with surgeon and radiation oncologist today to be told surgery was not an option due to tumour placement. This is just f****d. I have no other way to put it.

[exhausted]

I understand how you feel, look after yourself. Hugs Terese.

[tropical]

That's really sad news. I'm praying for you and your family Minx.

[jobeth]

Oh Minx, so so sorry for the news. This disease is so unforgiving. I'm quite a distance down the road from you and all I can tell you is: rest while you can. Share the load with family and friends because it will be a tough road to travel. My husband has entered the abusive stage. It's so hard not to take it personally especially with sleep deprivation, so make sure you take care of you first and everyone else next. Thing of you xxx jo xxx

[Minx]

Thank you all for your comments. We are trying to take it easy on ourselves this weekend, still waiting for our 15 year old to be home fom overseas to share the news. We need to find out what options/benefits we have left for chemo. But for now Pete has decided to take a break from any chemo for the next few weeks planning a short trip away with our girls. Hugs to all

[storm]

Hi Minx Loved the expression, there is no other appropriate word Practically have you (or someone) have the power of attorney If not organise while he still is cognitive You can have the forms signed by your local chamber magistrate (in NSW)and does not cost (alternate is your solicitor). The both of you will need to see the magistrate and he/she will assess whether your partner is of sound mind to make that choice As he gets worse you will have to take over his affairs and that document will allow you to best manage. Get numerous copies of the document and then signed by a justice of the peace as a true copy of the original - so you can use those forms when needed. Keep the original in a safe place and have contact with your local palliative care You will need support. Geoff.

[Minx]

Hi Geoff The night before his last surgery we did Enduring guardianship and power of attorney terrible things to even think about, but the peace of mind once done were worth it. We have the weekend to ourselves 2 older girls at canteen camp (good timing) and younger having sleepovers. So we will be able to freely talk about all those subjects that no-one wants to speak about. How have you been going? Cheers Min

[storm]

Hi Minx Hmm crap, now that you ask, in 5 minutes though all be OK..... until some anniversary of Lorraine's demise crops up or someone new asks (its the new people somehow makes it especially fresh again (I think you wait in ambush:)). Each time though its a little easier and a little bit longer between feeling the grief anxiety guilt anger loneliness --its all there all encompassing and its all about me, These are the things I know and talk to myself to allow and not deny my grief:- Its my feelings; Its my reactions; and it will change after it wells up and I will change again and I will get caught up with daily life happenings and then I get caught in the guilt that I am forgetting her, forgetting Lorraine. I don't want to forget her I want her memory I want her here .....its surreal somehow our life together, Lorraine's death was/seems a lifetime ago. Overall I am OK and all this is healthy (I hope this makes sense) I am out of the initial and intense grief. All this is the progress of my grief; others experiences may/ will be different. I wish you all the intimacy with your Pete for this weekend and thereafter, it can be a scary to be honest and open. If it is done with best intent forgiveness and listening. The art of listening is very important Lorraine's tumour took away her ability to communicate. Nevertheless I needed, and I asked for her forgiveness I did this close to her death (1-2 weeks maybe it was longer) Even though she was full of morphine I perceive that she had heard me at other levels than consciousness I am human I have short comings of who I would best be of how I would wished to be for Lorraine. I guess that I am still saying is that even yet I find it hard to forgive myself for not being the person I would wish to have been for Lorraine; and yet that changes again for I do. In some ways it does not matter. Our experience together, me with Lorraine, the act of, and the stripping away of what I could was the real essence. She shared with me her death her dying - their is no greater gift I tell a lie, it was a tad longer than 5 minutes So many hugs for your journey with Pete Minx Geoff

[Minx]

I know grief can take many forms and be there forever. I think it is wonderful that you can express all that you feel, I watch my father still dealing with the lose of our step mother and wish he could be half as open. Pete is still very much 'together' and it makes speeaking about death and what is to happen later hard to imagine/do. I need the security of no regrets. Forgetting about treatment for a few weeks has been a great break, freedom to catch friends and soon, family. Cheers Min