Grief

[Kathleenbrez]

I don't know how many times I've been told to get over cancer its certainly a loss that sticks wih you forever. The hardest thing is losing my dad at a young age I was 3 my sisters were 1 & 5 it's so sad that I don't remember his voice or what his faveroite colours are. Grief has affected me and the ones I know differently my dad named me so grief is always a lingering thing it's a mind blurr and you start to panic and break down crying. My mum cries around my dads family I think what makes me more upset is how forgotten my dad is to some of my other family members I feel that often its my mums side and my dads side of the family are non existsant I and my sisters make a concious effort to be close to my dads side. I wonder what other sorts of grief are out there regarding cancer

[peanutz]

Well, I share the grief of losing someone we love to cancer except I got to spend 11.5 years with him. It's sad and lonely and all the memories bring me to tear while at the time I'm happy that he's no longer suffered and didn't lose too much of his dignity in his last leg of the journey. It's been a month since my partner passed away. I was doing OK in the first 3 weeks; people said I was still in shock. This week has been hard. Everything seems to bring back memories of him and makes me cry. Sleep hasn't been good. Exercise doesn't seem to help. I'll keep myself busy, live my life so I don't miss him too much.

[Kathleenbrez]

I'm sorry to hear about your lose peanutz No matter how you try and keep yourself occupied the lost and the guilt is still there they say time heals old wounds but it sort off does but never will When I'm sad I play my dads faveroite music and it makes me laugh

[Kathleenbrez]

Also try and remember the good times you had with your partner I remember my dad by videos and pictures and honouring his wishes he wanted me to be happy and although that alone made me cry it made me happier the grief was gone for a while when you remember what they wanted for you it was such a simple wish but it was soo him to want that for me & my sisters

[peanutz]

I guess the wound is still fresh for me so those songs that my partner liked and are my favourite makes me sad when I listen to them. I know he wants me to be happy and that's what I'm trying. I have tried to be independent and everything all over again and so far I've done quite well. I think it's that time of the month and my hormone is playing up so I'm struggle a bit this week.

[Kathleenbrez]

I also think time to yourself helps Thinking about my dad and thinking about anything helps Also meditation or going to the beach

[peanutz]

mmmm meditation, never understand how it works. I guess I sort of do that when I try to go to sleep or go jogging. focusing on the breathing or a key word (TM method, I think) and let go off my thought. I'm quite surprised that you are still grieving over your dad who passed away when you were 3. How old are you now may I ask?

[Kathleenbrez]

Hey, I'm now 22 been 19 years since my dads passing it doesn't matter how long the loss is a loss is a loss forever a dad can never be replaceable even a step parent. I just miss him heaps he missed out on my graduations which I think is the saddest or even my sisters university graduation however his spirit was there for sure. Meditation to me isn't meant to be understood everyone's way of meditation is different it doesn't have to be te breathing it can be listening to music excerising or even prayer. It's how you meditate that is meditation