It has been 21 years since my dad has past away from leukaemia, and as much as I can say that 21 years is along time and that time moves forward and our lives are getting busier it doesn't change the fact that he was taken away tooo soon.
I will always miss my dad and the man he was I hope one day to be the person he was.
Leukaemia maybe a disease that takes away our loved ones but we can all feel normal in our grief and treat everyday as beautiful as we can.
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I lost my dad to acute myeloid leukaemia I am 24 but I lost him when I was 4 and almost lost my uncle to the same disease last year. I am sorry that you lost your dad to cancer but your not alone it must of been hard seeing your dad in such a way I saw my uncle the same way.
I saw my uncle deteriorate before my eyes and although it was difficult I took it as the process for what it is although it was a definite struggle being so hopeless knowing there's nothing you can do.
But though my cancer journey I learnt grief is okay and that missing your loved one is normal, I sometimes miss my dad and think I am going crazy but then realise that it's fine I see photos of him and visit him at the cemetery and it's fine.
Your dad may of left this earth but he is still within you somehow remember the positive and happy times with your dad talk about these memories with your loved ones helps too what your feeling is normal and it's okay to miss him.
Be strong and brave peace xo
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This is my experience with acute myeloid leukaemia it was on another blog name but I changed my account.
When I was 3 and my sisters were 5 and 1 my dad died at 38 years old passed sadly from acute myeloid leukaemia with complications from a heart attack, I have always known my life with just my mum and my sisters till I was I was told at 12 that my dad wasn't on a lifelong holiday he actually died. When I was 13, I snuck around and I found out more about my dad's death going to bed that night finding out...shaking like a leaf blaming myself and wondering why it had to be my dad? He was such a great man, a great husband, a great friend, a great son, a great teacher and so much more to many other people that I may never know. My dad didn't deserve to get cancer he was law abiding, didn't get thrown into jail, didn't upset or hurt anyone he knew he was a devoting husband and the most gentlest kindest dad that people spoke about..so I asked why is cancer a bitch for taking away great people who didn't deserve to be taken away so soon?
When I was 16, I had to choose a work experience placement and decided to do it with my godfather/uncle Anthony, it was strange since he was a travelling artist so when my dad died till 16 I didn't see him much, as soon as I started work experience we clicked and bonded, he taught me so much about art and exposed me to new things I wouldn't of tried like my first tasting of peppermint tea and what it takes to maintain a studio.
On my 16th birthday, my uncle said he had a surprise and gave me the best present ever he took me to the Picasso show ever since he has brought me along to Dali show and to many of his art festivals and performances. After work experience, I told my mum it was one of the bestest experiences in my life, she there in asked my uncle to continue being in my life in which he has ever since. Me and my uncle we were and are like "frick" and "frack" we are very close and when we bicker it affects the whole family and will last for 20 minutes before me or him text each other saying "sorry love you" that's us we don't fight for long and when we do 20 minutes later we forgive and forget.
He opened an art gallery we had two group art shows, charity art projects together, we went to my cousin's comedy show where my uncle introduced me to Ethiopian food. I asked "Why do you want to keep on showing me these new, weird experiences? and he said "Because I need you to see what was also out there then what you knew, to be ambitious to try new things" he explained, it made me apperciate his ideas, love him so much, and made me smile. We always laughed, cried, fought, embarrassed each other but at the end of the day loved each other. A couple of months ago, I found out my grandad had pancreatic cancer with my cousin by my side shaking and crying it was a challenging real life situation, it was devastating since my grandad was my everything and thought strength can pull him though to my realisation that only strength can only go as far, he reassured us it was age and it was okay as he led a happy life..thankfully my grandad is in remission at home and has gone back to his cheeky Irish ways of drinking red wine, whiskey and the odd Irish coffee.
A couple of weeks later, I found out that my uncle who was my everything, my best friend, my godfather, my person who I turned to for everything who was so honest who told me most things from the gate had myelodysplastic syndrome(MDS) it was truly heart-breaking but I remained optimistic. One time he apologised for me seeing his bruised arms from the blood transfusions, he was soooo embarrassed because he wanted me to continue being my cheeky, happy, smiley self as soon as I saw what I saw, I was understanding and couldn't let my emotions get the best of me, but deep down it made me sad and stressed seeing someone you loved having bruised arms the first thing I said was "I wished it was me bug, that had the bruised arms" my uncle replied, "Well if it was you with the bruised arms I'd be sad myself". When I saw the physical aspects to cancer, I was wordless, numb and just okay I was so caught up with being sympathetic that silence became a comforting tool though a journey of anger, anxiety, sadness and grief.
I told my uncle it is what it is and it's not your fault for me seeing the physical aspects to cancer. He apologised for also the possibility of not being around in my life it made me cry, but also it made me feel somber because somehow I have become blinded to life without my uncle, he then sadly explained a promise with my dad before my dad passed to be always around for me as my godfather, my answer was to him was that no matter what happens or will happen you withheld your promise, you've succeeded you have been there and will always be there for me and for that alone I, my family and my dad would be sooooo proud of you. It was just recently that my uncle my dad's brother got diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia.
With much love to those affected with cancer no matter who you are, if there's one thing I learnt it's okay to grieve it's reality and to be brave and positive as much as you can. Lots of love Kathleen xox
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I'm now 22 been 19 years since my dads passing it doesn't matter how long the loss is a loss is a loss forever a dad can never be replaceable even a step parent. I just miss him heaps he missed out on my graduations which I think is the saddest or even my sisters university graduation however his spirit was there for sure.
Meditation to me isn't meant to be understood everyone's way of meditation is different it doesn't have to be te breathing it can be listening to music excerising or even prayer.
It's how you meditate that is meditation
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Also try and remember the good times you had with your partner I remember my dad by videos and pictures and honouring his wishes he wanted me to be happy and although that alone made me cry it
made me happier the grief was gone for a while when you remember what they wanted for you it was such a simple wish but it was soo him to want that for me & my sisters
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I'm sorry to hear about your lose peanutz
No matter how you try and keep yourself occupied the lost and the guilt is still there they say time heals old wounds but it sort off does but never will
When I'm sad I play my dads faveroite music and it makes me laugh
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I don't know how many times I've been told to get over cancer its certainly a loss that sticks wih you forever.
The hardest thing is losing my dad at a young age I was 3 my sisters were 1 & 5 it's so sad that I don't remember his voice or what his faveroite colours are.
Grief has affected me and the ones I know differently my dad named me so grief is always a lingering thing it's a mind blurr and you start to panic and break down crying. My mum cries around my dads family
I think what makes me more upset is how forgotten my dad is to some of my other family members I feel that often its my mums side and my dads side of the family are non existsant I and my sisters make a concious effort to be close to my dads side.
I wonder what other sorts of grief are out there regarding cancer
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.