Missing my Dad

[pjg]

I lost my Dad to esophageal cancer 4 weeks today. It's really starting to sink in that I won't see him again. Struggling to deal with all the suffering he went through and how fast from diagnosis on 18th September until he passed on December 15th 2014. I'm worried I will only remember him during his final months as seeing him deteriorate so quickly was so traumatic. He lived at home with me and my young family and missing him terribly.

[Kathleenbrez]

Hey pjg, I lost my dad to acute myeloid leukaemia I am 24 but I lost him when I was 4 and almost lost my uncle to the same disease last year. I am sorry that you lost your dad to cancer but your not alone it must of been hard seeing your dad in such a way I saw my uncle the same way. I saw my uncle deteriorate before my eyes and although it was difficult I took it as the process for what it is although it was a definite struggle being so hopeless knowing there's nothing you can do. But though my cancer journey I learnt grief is okay and that missing your loved one is normal, I sometimes miss my dad and think I am going crazy but then realise that it's fine I see photos of him and visit him at the cemetery and it's fine. Your dad may of left this earth but he is still within you somehow remember the positive and happy times with your dad talk about these memories with your loved ones helps too what your feeling is normal and it's okay to miss him. Be strong and brave peace xo

[pjg]

Thanks Kathleen. I dont have much family close by me but I have started seeing a councilor from the palliative team we were with during Dads last week. I have 2 small children so I am kept busy alot but feel as though I can't grieve when I need to all the time. It all just happened so quickly. I feel as though its still not true. Sorry to hear about your Dad and Uncle. 20 years seems like so long to have someone missing from your life. I can't imagine how it feels to miss someone for so long. Thanks for your kind words.

[Sandy_B]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I remember when I last my father to a heart condition, I was sad I didn't know him better. He and my mother divorced when I was 7 and I only saw him occasionally after that. I didn't get the chance to make many memories with him. Remember those happy memories you two shared. Special mementoes, places you'd go together. Keep those things close and talk about him to your kids. My husband has Oesopgageal cancer and it's those things I hope to share with my children about him.